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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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Toothpaste makes a terrible lubricant
That is all
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:43, 16 replies)
E45 cream, however, does wonders.

(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 11:45, closed)
Leaves it with that
minty fresh feeling for up to 24 hours though.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:11, closed)
Ahem!
www.b3ta.com/questions/unexpectednudity/post433833
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 13:57, closed)
If only I'd read that when I was 13
:(
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:18, closed)
That my dear....
... is because it's essentially a polishing paste with small gritty bits in it. We use it for polishing plastics to a shine sometimes....

blimey... must have chafed... at least it was a minty "kissing it better" experience :)
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:30, closed)

If you experiment, by gently coating your member with toothpaste, you will find that it is not the abrasive properties which cause issue.
But the minty fresh feeling getting into all the wrong places.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:00, closed)
^

(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:45, closed)
But
at least it will prevent caries on your naughty bits.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 18:08, closed)
...
You're talking to someone who's done everything that can be done with ginger and whiskey. Mintiness is not an issue. :D
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 21:21, closed)
Even though Vick's looks like petroleum jelly, it is NOT!!!

(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:49, closed)
it's not good
for making adam ant stripes across your nose, either
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:11, closed)
It's also acidic.

(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:33, closed)
By which you mean...
the opposite of acidic.
(, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 12:33, closed)
Of course.
I blame a long day at work for my retardation here.
(, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 18:59, closed)
Also, fluoride is poisonous
It's true.
(, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 9:50, closed)

Makes your ring real hot too
(, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 9:31, closed)

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