following on from the below
I cant tell you how many times ive been late for work for wanking.

It starts harmlessly enough, a little touching, but once the semi is there... theres no turning back.

Its like "oh great, Im going to have to wank you away now, this is all I need"

I dont enjoy it, I just have to get it out my system. Once done, I quickly get ready, lambasting all my efforts.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 17:34, 9 replies)

Unfortunately
I am more likely to be late for wank due to working.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 19:50, closed)

This is the world of being a man.
I didn't have you down as a man of science, but "once the semi is there ... there's no turning back" is provably correct.

It's an affliction, and one your hypocritical male boss just won't accept - "Sorry I'm late - I had to have a wank" just doesn't cut it in today's politically-correct climate.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 20:20, closed)

You'd think so
But my mate Lee used precisely that excuse on more than one occasion.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 9:07, closed)

Richard
Now that you're on TALKsport, no-one will mind if you finish off that troublesome semi live on-air.

Love, Andy
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 21:16, closed)

just think of thora hird
as a rotting, bloated, gooey corpse.
that should sort it out.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 22:44, closed)

That's it, make him late again you unhelpful fucking heifer.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 7:11, closed)

hahhahahaha!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:49, closed)

When I first heard of a film by Thora Birch - I initially confused her with the above mentioned actress.

This made the review of the film really confusing.
(speedevil, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:08, closed)

Sorry I'm late...
... But at least you can be assured it will be moo milk in your tea today!
(Boom- Clicks on NSFW links at work., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:31, closed)