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This is a question Beautiful Moments, Part Two

Last week I saw a helium balloon cross the road at the lights on a perfectly timed gust of wind. Today I saw four people trying to get into a GWiz electric car. They failed.

What's the best thing you've seen recently?

(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 21:49)
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I'm lucky enough to have a girlfriend who, despite having lived in the UK for a few years, didn't quite get au fait with some of the more peculiar British customs. One such custom (I hope that I'm not coming across as a frightful weirdo here- please feel free to correct me if this isn't a custom at all) is feeling faintly triumphant after breaking wind particularly lavishly.

When we moved in together there came the awful realization that we would have to be in the proximity of each other even when at our least soigné. As the days went by I grew tired of running to the loo every time I needed to fart, and had to figure out the best way of broaching this delicate subject.

Eventually, I decided to bite the bullet. While we were gazing into each other's eyes on the sofa one day, I asked her, in my most debonair manner, to pull my finger. She complied, and what followed was my beautiful moment.

I let fly an absolute rip-snorter; one of those guffs which go down in legend and song. It started off with a basso-profundo growl, and then climbed in pitch, with occasional bird-like trills providing the soprano. Her eyes grew wide with wonder, then crinkled with glee as she realized the momentous event which was unfolding in front of her. Her beautiful face gasped with amazement and wonder as I loudly voided my bowels of foetid air.

It is probably the most enduring image I will have of her; the memory even trumps (ahaha) even her expression when I proposed to her on top of a wind-swept hill. In fact, I'm welling up even thinking about it.
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 11:37, 16 replies)
No, you're not being a weirdo
Visiting forrins always bring up in conversation the "strange British fart celebrations."
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 11:44, closed)
A bit more choke and she would have started

(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 21:24, closed)
You neglected to inform her of acceptable retorts
more tea, vicar?
there's fog in the bay tonight bosun
that duck's got bad breath
I name that tune in one

or precede it with

Our survey said..
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 11:50, closed)

I hear you, oh toothless one
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 11:55, closed)
precede it with:
"And now back to Davina in the studio"
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 11:57, closed)
"Is Mrs Brown at the window darling?"

(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 13:32, closed)
I've always favoured...
...'Don't tear it, I'll take the whole piece',


'That works, now try your lights'.
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 14:10, closed)
"Speak on sweet lips which never told a lie"

(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 15:33, closed)
And on that note...

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 1:04, closed)
personally, I go with
"Your voice has changed, but your breath still smells", or
"Speak up Brown, you're through to Staines", or maybe
"Speak again O toothless one".
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 14:44, closed)
...for the image of proposing on "a wind-swept hill"

Any man who can fart while proposing deserves a click.
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 11:56, closed)
Oh zing indeed!
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 15:35, closed)
Mu husband and I...
...waited until our wedding day to lose the fart virginity.
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 12:24, closed)

It would have been better if she'd have let rip with one of her own!
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 13:22, closed)
im clicking
I like this - purely for the answers....
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 16:35, closed)
My friend...
...my friend Tom would fart loudly and then say..."pick the bones out of that one," or "get out and walk."
(, Tue 10 Aug 2010, 22:00, closed)

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