Alcohol was a factor
My new girlfriend told me she liked it rough. Despite having never done anything like that before, I think "fuck it", and we decide to go for it one night after a trip to the pub.

We get through the door and take our roles. Music is put on to cover the oncoming storm of grunts. She gets shoved onto the bed, hard, and lies there, legs akimbo, to let me "ravish" her (her term, I might add).

After maybe a minute of such ravishing, I realise I'm getting minimal feedback. I look up.

She'd hit her head on the wall when I shoved her...

...and I'd molested her while she was unconscious.

We don't tell that one at dinner parties.
(a gun that fires other, smaller guns full of jizz, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 4:08, 11 replies)

Well...
It's not rape if they don't complain...

And you've moved on to necrophilia now? ;)

*clicks*
( snee held his breath since, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 8:03, closed)

Ahh. But did you stop?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 8:36, closed)

Hahahahahahaha
*gets RSI from clicking
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:35, closed)

You nonced her up really.
Admit it.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:23, closed)

Arf arf!
Tinkle parp.

*click*
(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:50, closed)

If I could click this twice I would
Once for the story, and once for your user name
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:28, closed)

Brilliant
Coffee covered monitor: Check

Click!: Check
(friedel, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:54, closed)

Oh god
I nearly burst a blood vessel laughing at that!

Herb soup!
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 19:20, closed)