I lost my cherry
Well, as it has been a while since I've posted on my favourite board and laughed at the misfortunes of many poor souls, I figured I'd share one of my more embarrassing stories and share with my friends.

I was 16, just started College and was keen to have fun as I was getting very well acquainted with booze and many new people. Going to a different College to one of my very good friends wasn't a bad thing for me as he lived literally a couple of minutes down the road and I got to meet his friends as well as my new friends and all went out as a collective. After several weeks of College and me imminently turning 17, I was invited to a rather large house party, which was a new experience for me. Me and my pal eagerly took the train to the next town over from ours and met up with a large congregation at the train platform who I soon became acquainted with. After sharing some cigarettes, light-hearted banter and some girls already flashing their breasts showing off their new nipple piercings, I felt quite confident and sure that nothing but good was going to come out of this night.

I bought my 8 pack of Boddingtons [No irony, I assure you] and figured I would be well on my way, and if not I can always help myself to the MASSES of drink there. Anyway, we arrived at the house, and it was a lovely venue which was tucked away, large and full of obtainable/drunk women. I dare say there were approximately 100 people there and it was incredibly chilled out night and everyone was having a good night and pairing off.

Roughly 7 tins in, I was outside having a cigarette and starting talking to a rather average looking female who looked appealing through my new goggles and my testosterone riddled body. We hit it off well and she giggled at my jokes and made it clear that we were getting along just fine. After probably annoying a lot of people via gratuitous groping and heavy petting, we decided to go upstairs. My heart was beating a mile a minute, and I was tremendously excited by the whole affair. Anyway, I shall get to the point [no pun intended]. After much fumbling and some severe facepalm inducing moments, I managed to get John Thomas into the destination. After some well intentional but rather poor thrusting and manoeuvring, I was rudely interrupted by the door opening and a middle aged woman walking in and making eye contact with an intoxicated youth who was grinning stupidly, in her bed, balls deep in some Jezebel who stank of the devils brew. She backed out not uttering a word, covering her mouth and walking away. Using this as an excuse to end my cringe-worthy act of lust, I burst out laughing and pulled up my trousers and walked off giggling all the way down the steps and continued with my night with my good friend and some of his buddies. I remember very little else of that night.

I later found out that I, your humble narrator, was doing my dirty deed in the host’s mother’s bed, and she was either a vicar, or married to a vicar. I never did get the answer to that. I never heard of any consequences or follow up to it either. Nor did I see the host ever again, and I was subsequently banned from any other social occasions at his residence. God fearing kill joy!

Also, the girl said I was rubbish in bed. How I laughed when I first heard and openly agreed, but it was still one of the funniest/awkward moments in my life which always makes me smile.
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 22:37, 22 replies)

"a collective"?
Dear god, no.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 22:51, closed)

I was young
And I'd give anything to feel that feeling again =(
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 22:53, closed)

Am I alone in thinking
That, for a male type thing, a cherry isn't popped until the process reaches its sticky conclusion. This is the second story I've read where that point hasn't been achieved and, perhaps it's just semantics (lol), feels unresolved. Does ejaculation need to occur. Don't want to take anything away from your story or experience. If we argue it does, then when does the cherry actually pop for a female type thing?
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 1:17, closed)

Entry
would be the popping of the cherry I say
(amacupcake, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:47, closed)

Nobody above the age of fourteen gives even half a fuck.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:52, closed)

Half a fuck
Would half a fuck count as losing ones cherry?
(amacupcake, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:03, closed)

I see what you did there.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:07, closed)

I reckon
If you were a lad in that situation -- wetted your wick but didn't pop -- then you'd claim that you'd "done it" but deep down would worry that it "didn't count".

Thinking back, I know I was going to spaff whatever the hell happened - the house could have collapsed around us, the Last Trump could have sounded, the entire Songs Of Praise crew could have turned up wanting to film in the room, nothing would have stopped me pounding away until the deed was complete.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:09, closed)

moon monkey is leading.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:11, closed)

...the three-legged race at the leper colony?
...you by the dog collar?
...the grate?
...a horse to water?
...the last stage of the Tour de France?
...a blameless life?

What are you saying here?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:29, closed)

I think the pronounciation may be awry
You should be leaning more in the direction of

...stained glass windows
...old pipework
...church roofs

etc.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:00, closed)

cf. "The Grate"

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:05, closed)

...Or until she woke up...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:09, closed)

I hate to admit it but
Moon Monkey is right. I technically did lose my virginity, but as I didn't see it through to the bitter end, I was always slightly disappointed.

STILL LOST IT, YO!
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 20:32, closed)

Well I conceed to the consensus.
I had no concerns about the finish my first time, start and end were virtually indistinguishable.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 23:18, closed)

"when does the cherry actually pop for a female type thing?"
Popping the cherry is just a euphemism for breaking the hymen, isn't it? As the hymen can be broken without the aid of a penis, it's all rather meaningless (unless you're a druid, or some other type of religious nut).

Boys have no cherry to pop, so I'd say that putting your penis into someone else will count as having done it. Likewise for a woman, you'll not have done it until someone puts their willy up you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:44, closed)

So how do lesbians pop theirs, then?
Let's all think about that for a while...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:48, closed)

Dildos, fingers, tampon applicators,
or my enormous penis.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 15:59, closed)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbINYprB3K8
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:06, closed)

Well Holly,
It was the best story I had for the QoTW. Technically I didn't blow my load, but surely it doesn't matter that the moment was concluded with a sticky full stop? I suppose that would be the "disaster" element.
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 20:35, closed)

So you're an mcp, an alkie and a lousy lay.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:07, closed)

More like..
I was drunk, drinking, and unable to coordinate during coitus.
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 20:31, closed)