A fireman comes home from work & says to his wife that they have a new system at work and that he wants to use it in the bedroom.

Bell 1 means put on jackets. Bell 2 jump on engine & so on.
So he says they shall do the same in the bedroom.
Bell 1 means strip naked.
Bell 2, jump on bed.
Bell 3, make mad love.
That night he says “Bell 1″ & she strips. “Bell 2″ she jumps on bed. “Bell 3″ they start to make love. She then shouts “Bell 4!”
He asks “Whats Bell 4?”
She replies “Roll out more hose you’re nowhere near the fucking fire!”
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 13:26, 24 replies)

Cheers

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 13:27, closed)

Dude
You have achieved the distinction of having told the single worst joke I have ever read on B3ta.

Which in itself, is probably something to be proud of.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 13:29, closed)

Haha
Thank you. That is an honor.

I miss Legless so I thought I would try his humor.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 13:30, closed)

Cheers

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 13:31, closed)

Oh for fucks sake

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 23:50, closed)

Dad?
Is that you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 13:49, closed)

Cheers.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 14:03, closed)

*shakes head*
No, no, no ...

This is a sad day for B3ta.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 14:22, closed)

Reminded me of this one
A guy is strolling through a graveyard when he sees a young woman weeping quietly by a fresh grave. They get talking, and she tells him that her husband has just been buried.

"That's terrible," says the guy, "Was he a young man?"

"No," she replies, "He was 87. But he had a young soul, and we had a wonderful marriage. We used to make love to the rhythm of the church bells every Sunday morning."

She paused, thinking back to the wonderful times they had had together.

"And if that fire-engine hadn't come past last Sunday, he'd still be with me today..."
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 14:27, closed)

Shit jokes ftw

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 14:30, closed)

Jesus that's old. Fire engines haven't had bells for decades.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 15:10, closed)

Fire engines I
bells sex
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 15:57, closed)

for decades ever
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:07, closed)

don't you make fun of old Dr. Mutton chops.
He is hairy and virile. Like a sexy love ape.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:15, closed)

Cheers.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:50, closed)

I hate you, double-m.
[online sadface of sadness]
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:49, closed)

I want to bum you.
[online cock of horniness]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 17:15, closed)

Not if I bum you first.
*bums*
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 18:03, closed)

Cheers

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 15:21, closed)

This is what jokes used to be like in the olden days

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:29, closed)

Progression is awesome

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 23:49, closed)

Dear me
I think you might have a humour tumour.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 16:55, closed)

Thanks, Dad.

( Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 19:59, closed)

I took the this from the Legless bumper book of 1000 jokes.
9.99 at all good book shops.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 20:49, closed)