not so much technology but surely a redundant workplace practice
i hate appraisals - i dont see the point, if you fuck up your manager should mention it then, not 6 months later, if you do well, a simple 'well done' and the odd drink never goes amiss. if you're really good you get a raise. if you're shite you get the boot. simple as.

I work in a creative agency, I've just been emailed and asked to offer my thoughts on a member of staff, everybody likes her, she's great at her job and one of the nicest people in the company, she's also pretty hot. I've changed the names but heres what i responded with...

re: Sue's appraisal
-------------------------------


Hi Steve

Thanks for the opportunity to offer some feed back on Sue. I've been meaning to have a chat for a while but inevitably workload gets in the way. Sue, or 'Super Sue' as i like to call her, is a likeable and affable person and is consistently professional in the execution of both her client liaison and account management duties. I think she does some great work and is clearly a wonderful ambassador for the agency.

However there are some points I would like to raise in regard to Sue's dealings with the studio teams. Naturally I appreciate it is the role of an account manager to guide work through the creative studio as expediently as possible but to be fair there are some concerns over of Sue's methods. Whilst I accept that some jocular banter and a 'carry on regardless' approach will always be part of agency culture, I find Sues's constant use of sexual innuendo, profanity and obscure scatalogical references a real drain on studio morale, there are times when her comments would quite frankly make a docker blush. Furthermore Sues's increasing use of verbal and physical aggression has become a deeply contentious issue. Andy has been forced to undertake martial arts training, both to the detriment of his Saxophone lessons and increasingly feeble mental state. Brian, although capable and robust, is also a complex and vulnerable individual, it is often very difficult to console him. Once the hyperventilating starts he is quite a large man to restrain. It is also deeply disturbing for the team to witness a man of Phil's standing lie broken and weeping uncontrollably after yet another heated and strenuous exchange with Sue over the vagaries of frozen ready meals.

Which brings us to the issue of Sue's understanding of personal space, for my own part I really feel the sexual touching has to stop. Similarly whilst Sue is clearly a confident and attractive young woman, her tactic of regularly exposing herself to Dave in order to procure studio time is at best unfair to the less well endowed members of the account team and at worst a potentially volatile provocation for Rob given the various restraining orders and bail conditions currently imposed upon him.

I will also be returning to you an envelope left on my desk which I believe to be from Sue regarding her forthcoming appraisal. Although I like to regard myself as a broadminded individual I found the note (apparently written in lipstick) highly inappropriate, morally offensive and of a deeply personal nature. I am also unclear as to whether the activities proposed are a) physically possible and b) legal outside of Brazil. Similarly i cannot accept the £20 enclosed, nor for that matter the undergarments which are clearly too small for me and probably more appropriate as women's attire. It is also my personal opinion that they had not been laundered.

I do hope this helps

Spimf
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 12:40, 13 replies)

what?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 12:53, closed)

eh?

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 13:32, closed)

btw i see what you've tried to do
with your profile mate, but it strikes me as a bit flaky to say the least
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 1:01, closed)

my brain wasn't working quite right when I read it the first time and as such was confused
re: the profile, it wasn't me. some devious bugger got into my b3tards account and replaced one of my profile images with a massive croissant.

because I'm really smug
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 11:49, closed)

Hahaha!
Love it.

"Want me to waste my time? Here, I'll waste it properly for you. Now give her a raise and naff off."
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 13:10, closed)

Click!
Although you just caused a near-fatal coughing attack because I was laughing while smoking, this is very funny.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 5 Nov 2010, 13:23, closed)

.
Can I have her phone number?
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 13:38, closed)

*click*
Love it!
( BulldogUgly Visit my profile to see what's between my legs, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 13:39, closed)

b) legal outside of Brazil
Click.
(Archeleus hates cabbage, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 14:27, closed)

Started off good....
and finished off even better :) I love spunk BTW
(mparryuk52, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 15:23, closed)

what?

(Archeleus hates cabbage, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 16:25, closed)

haaaa ha ha ha
great - what happened next?

*click*
(TheFlyingOnion. looking forward to, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 16:43, closed)

her boss loved it and is planning on delivering it deadpan at her appraisal next week

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 17:20, closed)

Fantastic!!
(wankymcwankwank Eels, tobacconists, hovercraft and bouncy bouncy., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 12:28, closed)