It's YOUR FAULT
Wife and I were watching a TV documentary about polar bears. The narrator explained that the poor polar bear had to swim 500 miles to find something to eat, due to the ice having melted, thanks to global warming.

Wife then bursts into tears. "It's YOUR FAULT!"

"Eh?"

"You drive to work. You could easily walk."

My round trip of three miles a day apparently caused global warming.
(Bob the Builder killed Captain Alex, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 22:39, 12 replies)

She's got a point though,
you lazy bastard.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 22:56, closed)

Lazy fat cunt.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 23:12, closed)

Oh , and you lazy fucktard. I can walk your journey in less than 12 minutes and that inculdes hills.
And it may take me a lot longer to walk home to a miserable hatchet faced whore of a wife depending on how many pubs are on the way home to put myself out of the misery of going home to an idiot.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 23:38, closed)

"ROUND TRIP"??! You drive a mile and a half each way?
You Polar Bear murdering bastard.
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 23:27, closed)

I thought that pastiche had been pretty much mullered by real scientists. Polar Bears are not fucked.
It is climate change and not global warming that counts. Even Margaret Thatcher understood the difference between the two very different concepts.

Polar Bears will adapt, for fuck sake they evolved in worse conditions.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 13 Dec 2013, 23:34, closed)

Waterworld was not a documentary.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 10:27, closed)

You're basically right
but the polar bears are one of the species that might be genuinely fucked. They're specialists. Some of them might wander south and breed back into their darker cousins but it's quite possible the Arctic itself might not be able to support them as they are now.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 12:16, closed)

Or their natural diet will simply adapt to "Canadians and Norwegians"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 11:43, closed)

it did, as did your insistence on using gas, electricity and clean running water

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 3:15, closed)

Are you saying that it's NOT you fault!?

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Sat 14 Dec 2013, 14:07, closed)

It's actually her fault
for using electricity to power a TV to watch a documentary highlighting the plight of polar bears because of climate change caused by humanity's insatiable desire for fossil-fueled energy to generate electricity to watch documentaries about the plight of polar bears.

And so the cycle is complete. And I have a lapful of sperm.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 11:42, closed)

Three miles?
That's a half-decent walk, you lazy git.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 12:14, closed)