This wins everything and is way better than everything on here:
www.milmillington.com/
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 16:51, 17 replies)

from linked article...
"There then follows a free and frank exchange of views with, in my corner, 'It's your fault,' and, in hers, 'It's a curious statistical anomaly.' "

I just snorted tea
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 17:01, closed)

urgh, you're just so fucking male

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 17:13, closed)

bloody hell!
that's still going?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 17:42, closed)

no
it hasn't been updated in years
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 20:05, closed)

She must give fucking incredible blowjobs.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 19:39, closed)

Only since he kicked her fucking teeth out!

( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 21:28, closed)

Aaaahahahahaha!
No, wait, that's a tedious load of wank.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 15 Dec 2013, 23:17, closed)

Ah yes, I do wonder how they're getting on these days
This bit is by far my favourite:

"Now, the thing is, if you're an English male, what you do when you leave home is go to the shop nearest to your new place, buy a Pot Noodle (Chicken and Mushroom), feast on its delights slumped on the sofa in front of the TV, swill out the plastic carton it came in, then use this carton for all your subsequent meals until you get married. There's a beauty of economy to it. Thus, when I cook a meal for four, the aftermath left in the sink as I carry the gently steaming plates to the table is a single saucepan and, if I've pulled out the all stops to dazzle visiting Royalty, perhaps a spoon."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 10:16, closed)

My favourite is:
"I eat two-fingered Kit-Kats like I'd eat any other chocolate bars of that size, i.e., without feeling the need to snap them into two individual fingers first. Margret accused me of doing this, 'deliberately to annoy her'."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 10:35, closed)

Heating soup is cooking, now?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Dec 2013, 13:19, closed)

I thought it was funny
but you have to have a wife or girlfriend that's a little bit mental to really feel his pain. However the argument thing is a stock feminine response to being in the wrong.I.E moving the argument goal posts to inform you of everything you have done wrong over the period of the relationship. In my case 7 years *groan*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 10:44, closed)

16 years.
I'm essentially Satan personified.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 11:18, closed)

And
I bet she remembers every little detail! Women eh? Tch
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 13:46, closed)

Bit disappointed here
I misread that as Mary Millington
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 11:43, closed)

To be fair, everything I do disappoints you.
But you're not my real dad.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Dec 2013, 11:47, closed)

Margret is sitting at this computer (which is in the attic room, incidentally) typing something. I'm flopped in a chair close by with a paper and pad, scribbling away at a bit of work.
I pause and say to her, 'Tortoise and turtle is the same word in German, isn't it?'
She stops typing, reaches over, pulls off one of my Birkenstock shoes, throws it down through trapdoor (I hear it thud below, then flip-flop down the stairs) and returns to her typing. All in a single, silent movement.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 12:19, closed)

Hannah is someone with whom I recently started to work - remotely. I've met her in person once, for about ninety minutes. You now have all the information you need.

Margret and I are going up a mountain, side by side, on a drag lift in Germany. The white noise of the snow under our skis is the only sound until Margret begins to speak.
Margret - 'This woman - "Hannah", is it? - what's she like?'
Mil - 'She seems OK.'
Margret - 'How old is she.'
Mil - 'About thirty, I think.'
Margret - 'What colour is her hair?'
Mil - 'Black.'
Margret - 'Does she smoke?'
Mil - 'Yes.'
Margret - 'YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH HER, DON'T YOU?'
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:18, closed)