He couldn't help but stare at his arse, the way it wiggled when he fired his blaster cannon.
Young mmps watched as shedulus destroyed the last of the greenhousicons that they had been fighting and walked up to his alien shed friend. "Wow, you sure got them!" he exclaimed as his erection twitched in his 1998 replica Bolton Wanderers shorts.
Shedulus glanced down at his terrific member and smiled. "Yes, and you seemed to have enjoyed it."
Mmmps blushed a little and stroked his hand down Shedulus' wooden leg. "You KNOW how much I love seeing you in action."
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 9:49, 9 replies)

Exactly how long do these QOTW things stay active?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 9:29, 5 replies)

My Dad's greatest and only lasting passion for as long as I've been alive (44yrs) is playing music for audiences.
He refuses to believe what everyone knows: he is tone deaf.
He's no genius with rhythm, either.

Apologies for the lack of hummus, it's only sad. I'm thinking his headstone should read "His long struggle with music is over".

edit: He's still around and crooning (demented howling)
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 6:13, 5 replies)

I once quipped "I love Hyracotherium",
I should have said "I love Hyracotheria".

(my own ignorance counts, right?)
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 5:33, Reply)

A woman I used to work with
who I hated for being an ignorant, small minded, unjustifiably condescending piece of shit - and who seemed to think anything I said or did that didn't fit her dickish world view was due non-existent sexism on my part - was once absent-minded flicking through on of those "We got married and then discovered we were identical twins!!!" type mags, turned to me and asked "what does mice-oh-gin-is-tick mean?" I laughed in her face, which was quite ignorant.
( George Blank my 2nd last sig was funny, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 2:00, 2 replies)

How do I print?

(hathat, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 0:13, 2 replies)

I always switched off the telly when 'That's Life' came on.

(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 23:02, 2 replies)

I was once verbally abused by a working insect from the Hymenoptera order.
I opted to not acknowledge it.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 21:08, 8 replies)

Ignorance is when people audition for the X-Factor
and have awful, terrible, voices and no talent and rubbish appearance, and then, upon being told by one of the most successful pop music promoters in the world (I didn't say I liked him) that they aren't good enough, throw a strop and insist that they'll have a Number 1 album in the next year without his assistance. Because they derive confidence from their equally untalented friends and family telling them how good they are.

Example= www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrNbLBS1D2Q

Or does that come under the classification of 'delusional'?

That ties in with this article nicely.

news.yahoo.com/incompetent-people-too-ignorant-know-175402902.html

I like the line where it also says ' Similarly, unfunny people don't have a good enough sense of humor to tell.'.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 19:04, 10 replies)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVB1eQn2uwA&feature=related
Most Bill O'Reilly interviews*
Bill O'Reilly - So you're signed this petition?
Guest - Yes I...
Bill O'Reilly - So what you're basically saying is you hate America?
Guest - No I...
Bill O'Reilly - Shut up I'm not listening to you anymore... Security, get this guy outta here

*Interrogations/propaganda
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:25, 7 replies)

I 'm ashamed to admit it . . .
. . . but I once read 'The Daily Mail'
( Q4nobody, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:32, 6 replies)