Urgh
I asked a friend why he hadn't washed his hands after urinating.

"I don't piss out the sides of my cock" was his rather upsetting answer.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 8:59, 21 replies)

There's a story about Churchill being spotted doing - or not doing - something similar at the House of Commons.
"At Eton, they taught us to wash our hands after using the lavatory," said another MP.
"At Harrow, they taught us not to piss on our hands to begin with," said the unrepentant carpet-bomber and war criminal.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 9:17, closed)

You're upset by this?
Fucking hell.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 9:56, closed)

Well...
I was upset by the idea of touching anything that he'd put his cocksweat-slathered hands on, at least.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 14:41, closed)

homo.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 14:59, closed)

Microbiology.
Most germs on your cock are 'obligate anaerobes' that die in a dry oxygen containing environment. They breed quickly if moistened and gently warmed.
If you wash your hands and use a hot air drier, the bacterial count INCREASES.
Only wash your hands if there are individual, disposable, absorbent paper towels after urinating.
After crapping, there is a greater chance of spore-forming organisms; wash off with soap irrespective of available drying agents.
I never wash my hands after a piss if there is only a hot-air drier; piss is sterile anyway...
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 22:11, closed)

Interesting...
But not true.

Wash your hands, you grubby shit. Yes, piss itself is sterile (leaving out any questions as to whether you have any infections lower down which might cause it to be less so), but no-one really benefits from you spreading around your coliform bacteria, and your nether regions are most likely teeming with those. Granted, you'll never entirely eliminate your hand flora with soap and water - but it does wash away the skin oils surface bacteria cling to and, by extension, a fair proportion of the surface bacteria themselves.

On a more general note - sterile or not, most people really won't be that interested in getting close up and personal with your piss.

Snopes.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 23:22, closed)

I remain with Sheldon on this one...
"Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly it'd be more hygenic if they just had a plague-infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry."
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 7:52, closed)

Oh right, so you take all your scientific knowledge from a shit sitcom that's usually wrong?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 7:58, closed)

"All"
Indeed, that is exactly what I said. Well done on the reading there.
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 22:26, closed)

You fucking bummer
I don't wash my hands after bog action on account of not having dirty genitals and being capable from an early age of not shitting on my hands. Never had food poisoning, rarely get colds, etc. Fucked with other stuff but never had any hygiene based ailments. Stop being a fanny.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 9:31, closed)

If this is true, you're a bit thick. Typhoid Mary was asymptomatic.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 11:54, closed)

It is true and I still don't have a dirty cock
Stop being neurotic because you really do come across as an OCD double autism
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 12:11, closed)

You have got AIDS, mind.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 12:25, closed)

Even though you never get to use it for anything besides weeing, your knob is most likely playing host to fecal coliform bacteria, which can be transmitted to others via your hands. Just so we're clear - you wouldn't necessarily expect to see these bacteria, as bacteria are pretty small. A visual once-over doesn't necessarily confirm that you 'don't have a dirty cock'.

Aside from this, the 'bloke' pissing stance leaves the hands vulnerable to aerosolized bacteria from the bowl/trough/whatever. You will also be touching various taps, door knobs etc which already play host to other people's grimness. Every single piece of advice from every reputable source recommends washing hands after toilet use.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 12:33, closed)

That's just what the illuminati want you to think.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 13:03, closed)

I too can give my posts an air of authority and mild condescension by leaving the subject box blank.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 13:20, closed)

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 13:39, closed)

I agree that washing your hands is probably a good idea after being in a public convenience, but surely the tap is best avoided by... not washing your hands?
(Twangy Rubber, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 13:25, closed)

Again, how long do these coliforms last:
a) when left to dry in air
b) after wetting and warming?

If you want to abrasively remove them (and don't get me started on biofilms) then you need soap, water, and (most importantly) time. After this you need to EFFECTIVELY dry your hands. Hot air driers (arguably not including the Dyson Airblade) do not do this effectively, leaving the few remaining bacteria in a warm moist environment in which they proliferate to and beyond pre-handwashing levels rapidly.

Again, No paper towels, No reduction in counts unless you spend more than two minutes of thorough washing. Of course, why not just carry some alcoholic gel; you can use this after touching the door handle...?
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 22:25, closed)

Title, so Citizen Smith up there doesn't get any more upset.
But they don't escalate to pre-handwashing levels. Yes, it has been suggested that the abrasive action of paper towels removes more bacteria than hot air drying (in a study funded by some tissue consortium). However, these measurements are taken immediately before and after drying - ie, once the act of pissing and hand-washing is complete. Bacterial load on the fingertips more than doubles after pissing, and washing with water and soap (for 15-20 seconds, as generally recommended - not two minutes) massively reduces this. Arguably, yes, you might get further benefits from using a paper towel - but washing and using a hot-air dryer still results in far fewer bacteria than simply not washing at all.

Either way, a minute's worth of hot air to turn your hands from damp to dry will have little or no ongoing effect on binary fission, and bacteria simply won't divide all that often in a single, solitary minute.

EDIT: That all said, I'm just cherry-picking hastily googled results to back up my initial position, and discarding those which don't fit. There's someone on here who seems very knowledgeable with this kind of stuff - far, far more so than me. Can't quite recall who, but I think it might be Mighty Badger. Perhaps he'd be kind enough to resolve it, if he's passing... Or the other Badger would suffice - I'd imagine he's professionally obliged to know how best to prevent various nasties spreading from A to B.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 22:52, closed)

The real answer was that he didn't see the point as he'd already pissed in your drink.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 2 Sep 2012, 21:18, closed)