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This is a question Bodge Jobs

If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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Yeah, you're right.
I much preferred your answer to this week's QOTW.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:26, closed)
It just wasn't fixing anything though, it was making something retardedly dangerous.
A genuine "hold my beer while I do this" moment.

It's like you read the question and thought "hmm I'll interpret that as 'recall a time when common sense escaped you when doing something'".

It wasn't a repair at all, which makes this all the more obscenely thick.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:34, closed)
I agree.
As I said, your answer to the question is far superior to mine.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:40, closed)
I didn't answer any question
I commented on your answer.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:43, closed)
I know.
And having read your 'profile info' - I can see why you'd never risk answering a QOTW. You write like an 11yr old child finding it hilarious to use words like 'anal' and 'semen' for the first time. And I quote:

'Adam never recovered from the anal insertion of the frisbee.
Eventually, the torn skin let out a lot of blood and became severely infected. Eventually, the pain overwhelmed the body and the organs simply shut down, and in some cases exploded.
Family members discovered his body later, in a pool of blood, pus, faeces and a little bit of semen. And a dog chewing his anus trying to prise free the frisbee.'

Such creative, mature writing! Really witty and rude. I don't know how I kept from wetting myself.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:49, closed)
Learn to read.
"Eddache recalls the event"

Do you know what this means?
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:53, closed)
Lol! Anal!
Lol! Semen!

Man...you're too much! Go on...I dare you to sat 'poo' or 'cock'!

I know all I need to know about you: a semi-literate fool with absolutely nothing to say for yourself. Your life is so dull, that out of countless QOTW's, you have zero experience on which to draw from to answer even one of them. So you get your kicks trying to belittle those that do. Pathetic.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:06, closed)
I read that as
"Waah waah waaah even though I can't read who actually wrote your profile I'm going to berate you for calling me out on a spectacularly dull, shit and stupid action what I did and then comment on your choice to not contribute on a board that invites people like me on without some kind of licence which I am proving a need for with every awful AWFUL post I make"
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:10, closed)
And I read that as:
Well acutally I couldn't read it. Words have to come in a certain order for them to make sense.

But you've made me re-assess my assumptions of you. I was wrong. You're not 'semi-literate' at all, you're completely illiterate. And exceedingly dull.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:20, closed)
Things I've learned today
1. Albert Marshmallow is an impressive stalker who is on borrowed time by the looks of it.
2. He also has the attention span of approx 30 words, therefore unable to read long sentences
3. He and EmperorDullface are kind of like the troll-trollers, but they come across like they don't know they're doing it. Which is either Sacha Baron Cohen-scale human scientifics, or they are genuinely stupid.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:25, closed)
At least he doesn't stalk teenage girls on the internet.

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:13, closed)
Does he?

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:14, closed)


(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:19, closed)
.....
pffffttHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:20, closed)
Another Top 10 entry to QOTW!
And I've had four in the newsletter.

Still waiting to read your contributions.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:21, closed)
I really must reappraise my life's achievements.

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:24, closed)
I think he should write a book about it
It'd sell like hotcakes here
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:26, closed)
I think you're underestimating the appetite for cakes of the average qotw porker.

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:31, closed)
Thing is...
I don't mind notoriety. Yeah I posted the story about hacking email accounts. I posted the story about selling paracetemol as esctasy. And I posted the story about making my own fireworks.

People either approve or disapprove - and they let me know by writing loads of comments after all those stories.

That's me. Some odd tales to tell. Some you'll like. Some you'll loathe.

But you? You have nothing to give. Nothing to offer. Nothing to say for yourself. You have no imagination and not an ounce of creativity. You are the worst of all types of people - dull.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:31, closed)
Odd that you deleted the post if you didn't find it embarrassing.
And I think you may be confusing me with somebody else. I had qotw answers featured in the original radio show in the days before they introduced the 'reply' function and turned into a self-help and mutual cock-stroking forum. And I've been an active member of /board since before they even invented qotw. How many images have you ever posted here? How many front pages do you have?

You're a creepy pervert and a chav prick. And proud of it. Bravo. Give Jeremy Kyle a ring if you want some real "notoriety".
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:36, closed)
Yay,
pissing contest!
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:39, closed)
Though I hate to admit it - you've won!
I was happily reading all the creative and interesting responses on how to make my rocket fly better etc. When you came along (shortly followed by your gimp, Frisbee), and started to try and wind everybody up.

I said to myself 'ignore the losers' - and for a large period of time I did. I notice that you obviously have a reputation for being a total fuckwit, judging by the reaction of everyone on this thread when you joined it. Even so, I let my fellow commenters shoot you down - and I didn't get involved. But now I have. And you got what you wanted - a rise out of the OP.

You can chalk this up as another 'victory' - and go spread your special brand of immature trolling across the far reaches of the web.

Oh and I'll take your 200 and times it by ten - I'll give you 2,000 if you or your sycophantic lackey can post an answer to a future QOTW, that registers in the Top 5.

Until such time, I bid you farewell and wish you good luck in all you seek to achieve.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:51, closed)
I didn't offer you £200
you illiterate oik.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:54, closed)
Can I have the £2,000 to have reading lessons
seeing as you're now my daddy, or something wot he said?
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:57, closed)
Yeah.
But you'll have to mow the lawn and clean the car for it. And no cheek when your Granny comes to visit. We all know she smells of wee. We don't need to keep reminding her.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:59, closed)
You sanctimonious prick
You brainfart about how dangerous your stunt was, 'cackling like a loon' and you get called out on it. Then you whine like we're taking the piss out of everyone here but no, I'm actually just calling you a fucking mong. There is no 'us', it's just you being the fucking tool.

Now go cut yourself a slice of cake, take a big breather, go stalk some teenyboppers, crack one off over them and come back when you feel better.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 12:00, closed)

I don't really care about any of this, but I'm becoming increasingly inclined to sellotape a lit Mr Muscle to your frisbee, you ridiculous manchild.
(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 1:01, closed)
TARANTARAAA!
Midnight White Knight Hero AHOOOOOOOY!
(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:03, closed)
Man who bragged about setting light to household chemicals in a public space,
calls those who post comments "immature".

If it's any help, there's an ignore button by every username, to help you better "ignore the losers".
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 12:17, closed)
No, not that!
He NEEDS to tell me how much I am lesser than him. Because that's the way the internet works
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 12:20, closed)
If I can get everyone on QOTW
to read something like this, maybe all the fighting would stop.

On second thoughts, where would the fun be in that?
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 12:23, closed)
I'd rather give nothing
then bleat out on a publicly-accessible website how much of a questionable human being I am.

I will personally pay you 200 to construct the biggest and most dangerous firework and ask that you kindly put yourself in the immediate area of it so that you remove your pitiful, depraved and attention-seeking self from this plane of existence.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:38, closed)
Shit, that's almost his entire profile as well.

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:58, closed)
Frisbee
Another wanna be /talk nobber.

show him the ways of the troll shambo.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:42, closed)
Dr. Shambolic has nothing to do with me
You, however, appear to have no fucking clue what trolling is.
What he did was so irresponsible and so dangerous to himself and everyone in the vicinity, that it invites someone to comment on how stupidly bad it is.

From looking at your previous exchange with 'Shambo' above makes you come across as a whining little nobody and for you to think that I'm in cahoots with him simply because I also commented negatively on a thoroughly stupid idea isn't really doing yourself any favours.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:49, closed)
Mainly
Because Fris my darling, your rubbish little tirade is on a par with shambos verbal bullshit that he spreads.

Albert at least has posted interesting stories, where as you fris my lovely have posted fuck all apart from bitchy little comments. Run along and play with your /talk friends you wanna be.


Here is some of your other oh so witty retorts www.b3ta.com/users/searchposts.php?id=84644&board=qotw
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:54, closed)
Does Fris troll
wanna biccy as well?
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:55, closed)
I have been bested by the search function.
Oh White Knight, how may I ever repent for my indiscrection?
Shall I fellate my fellow QOTWer for inane dullardry as well, and then demonstrate my superb link-clicking skills to prove my point that I, too, am a fucking moron for thinking I'm oh so very clever?

Does Emperor Fuckface want to learn what Trolling is before defending his retarded brethren when a fair comment is posted?
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:06, closed)
fris
you are such a perfect puppet (or muppet) to kiss
the vagina of shambo.

Your little mad quote is so original (without using google searches for "witty retorts") and shambo now feels safe to spout shit when he is pulling your strings. xx

Have another biccy mongtard.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 20:36, closed)
While I can't possibly fathom what drives you
I sympathise with your plight.
Go to bed, show your homework to your kids/parents, let them tell you how much of a gibbering wet fucking flannel of a person you're being, take the opportunity to get a fucking grip, and if you still feel need to berate me in the morning, just drop me a line and I'll deal with you directly.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:00, closed)
Damn straight.
How dare people post comments on a website that invites comments? Everyone knows that the Reply button is only there for show.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:04, closed)
It's political correctness gone MAD.

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:14, closed)
MAD
Mutually Assured Dullardry
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:16, closed)
Oh, Mr. Coward, you are a one!

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:20, closed)
Piss off, you.
The tip of my knife broke off, and I lost it in my vein.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:26, closed)
Don't you oppress me!

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:27, closed)
Bastard.
I post on this website for sympathy, understanding and personal validation, and all I get is people taking the mick.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:31, closed)
Fuck off back to /qotw.
Oh ... oh right.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:39, closed)
pfft

(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:40, closed)
Oh Hai Pfft
Please give me another cracker mummy. fris hungry for people on /talk to like.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 20:37, closed)

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