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This is a question Breasts

Your stories on The Devil's Pillows, please.

Suggested by PsychoChomp

(, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:21)
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I am not a regular poster on QOTW, but, when the subject matter is one off fascination for ½ the planet (I have not taken account of gay ambivalence in this figure) I though I’d better investigate and deal with it.

In order to first understand the male predilection with “mammalian protuberances” I decided to research what was considered the Determinants on Female Attractiveness and found quite an unusual comparison between the number off factors between males and females.

These were listed as below:
1 Determinants of male physical attractiveness
1.1 Build
1.2 Height
1.3 Variability in preferences

2 Determinants of female physical attractiveness
2.1 Signals of youth
2.2 Breast size
2.3 Proportion of body mass to body structure
2.4 Waist-hip ratio
2.5 Height
2.6 Prototypicality as beauty
2.7 Skin tone

I always knew that women were far more complex than males, but I had never seen the definitive list of physical measurements before. Interestingly, to get back on topic “breasts” were the second most important factor.

To further research, I took it upon myself to check out Desmond Morris, the author of “The Naked Ape” for a bit off “history” on the subject. Desmond obviously has run a check on the whole affair and came up with this.

"Other anatomical features also evolved to entice mates, they all appear on the front of the body--as if to encourage frontal copulation. Fleshy earlobes, protruding noses, red lips (which Morris says were designed to mimic the genitals), and swelling breasts evolved as sexual signals to invite copulation from the front."

"These have no physiological use whatsoever and biologists agree that their original function was sexual invitation. These sensitive, fleshy, delicate areas expand by one-third during intercourse. The nipples harden at the slightest touch, and for most women fondling of their breasts stimulates their desire for intercourse."

Perhaps the breasts mimic the fleshy, rounded buttocks that attracted males during rear-entry intercourse. Whatever the case, protohominid males liked them in yesteryear. Those with larger breasts had more young than those less endowed.

So, our reason for this fascination came from our hairy arsed ancestors who based a woman’s shaggability and thus the survival off the species by the size of her breast’s …Coool!

However, thanks to evolution and science, this need not necessarily be the case anymore and, to be honest, I am surprised that South east Asia became the most populous area in the world as the Asian boobage factor is not necessarily the highest in the world.

The Asian physique, generally petite does not happily accommodate significant “breastal regions” and off late, there has been in increase in the “Augmentation Industry” targeted at the South East Asian market in both the surgical and enhancement product area’s.

My particular favourite is the Yokoyama Corporation’s F-Cup Pudding snacks.

These products, widely sold in Japan have e magic ingredient called pueraria mirifica, a plant containing phytoestrogens that is being marketed as a natural breast enhancer. The mango-flavoured pudding snacks also contain soy protein and red clover, other products with phytoestrogens that, it should be noted, are used for treating menopause.

Moving along, here in Indonesia the whole subject is a bit risqué, especially with the possible implementation of the new “Pornography Bill” which has been much discussed in other parts of the blogosphere,

This bill will however probably not stop Djarum, one of the countries largest tobacco giants working on the principle that “Tits Sell”

Djarum had discovered that there was a potential market in Hungary for their clove flavoured cigarettes and embarked on a marketing campaign to break into the product within the country. Problem was, how to market the trade mark smell of Indonesia within Eastern Europe using traditional Indonesian values and advertising skills.

In Indonesian campaigns, the Djarum marketing executives have traditionally used hostesses who display a wholesome image, slightly taller than the norm, more décolletage than the lady next door and, if possible, fairer of face.

The Kretek, or clove flavoured cigarette is almost an Indonesian Trademark and Djarum sought to export this unique cancer stick. For Hungary, it was clear that the "girl next door approach would not work so, screw the traditional values, bare breasts and body paint were the order of the day. Want to make your average Boris start smoking kretek, easy, get him fair and square between the sights of two larger than normal breasts and he will succumb. And those wacky Hungarians went for it...Big Time.

So, there it is. Tits sell!

I must however admit that my personal preference is for the more delicate design in this department and, I will prove this by posting a picture of (in my opinion) the nicest pair of tits I have ever seen.

Great Tits
(, Sat 8 May 2010, 6:38, closed)
... is fantastic. Science, pictures of tits, and a picture of a pair of tits, brilliant.
(, Sat 8 May 2010, 13:27, closed)
That just about covers the uncoveredness of it !

(, Sat 8 May 2010, 16:23, closed)
I've worked in Hungary
Lets just say that most of the male population are as unreconstructed as Gene Hunt in a go-go bar. This approach is a sure fire win around there
(, Sat 8 May 2010, 16:32, closed)
A lovely pair of Great Tits
And a tit in the hand is worth one in the bush.
(, Sat 8 May 2010, 21:08, closed)
This is win.

(, Sun 9 May 2010, 8:25, closed)
Desmond Morris and his intellectual process:
1 I like tits
2 tits give me a stiffy
3 monkeys shag doggy fashion
4 tits must have evolved to make me think of monkey bums
5 i'll write that down as soon as i've had a wank

ie not the most reliable analysis on the planet
(, Sun 9 May 2010, 10:35, closed)
monkey bums

One thing Desmond Morris fails to explain is this; what is the evolutionary advantage of having breasts that remind men of bums when women have bums anyway and could just show us their bums? It seems awfully unnecessary to have two bum-shaped body parts where one will suffice.
(, Sun 9 May 2010, 15:55, closed)
i'd rather not shit out of my cleavage, thanks

(, Mon 10 May 2010, 0:59, closed)
For Hungary
it was clear that the girl next door approach would not work so, screw the traditional values and get a post opp transexual to flog your cancer sticks.
(, Mon 10 May 2010, 11:42, closed)
Ha ha ha ha ha
The thought did enter my mind when I saw the source picture...
(, Tue 11 May 2010, 4:23, closed)
If you look very
closely you will see a slight bump in her knickers, I did mention she was post opp but you just can't get the surgeons in Hungary anymore.
(, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:59, closed)
Humans walk upright.
This means the arse is no longer at eye level.

Boobs are designed to be easily visible.

Their very evolutionary purpose is as advertising.
(, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:20, closed)
There doesn't have to be an advantage.
That's the point of sexual selection. Think of a male peacock. Its tail is a disadvantage, to grow it takes resources away from the rest of the body, and makes it more difficult to escape from predators, but because peahens like a large colourful tail it evolved anyway.
(, Wed 12 May 2010, 19:29, closed)
But I was condensing about a chapter of Desmond's shit into two "one liners".
(, Tue 11 May 2010, 4:25, closed)
"one off fascination"?
I think not, sir. I am perpetually fascinated by the subject matter.
(, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:14, closed)

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