You're Assholes

(drunksteve is not drunk, Sat 26 Apr 2014, 23:22, 32 replies)

Please think twice before adding line breaks -- your post will be skipped over if it looks too spread out or is a wall of text.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 0:16, closed)

I prefer, you assholes.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 8:46, closed)

the word is 'arse', you colonial dumpbucket
just because your ancestors were witless religious extremists who thought cursing would send them straight to hell doesn't mean you have to keep using 18th century euphemisms.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 8:51, closed)

I am a huge fan of this.
It would be an honour to be insulted so skilfully.
(Andrew Avetoom, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 9:59, closed)

you smell of weewees

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 10:41, closed)

....asshole....

(Andrew Avetoom, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 12:13, closed)

why I otter!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 12:26, closed)

otter man
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 12:27, closed)

The US hasn't been a colony for more than 200 years of British decline you cretin.

Moreover, 'ass' is not an 18th century euphemism anyway, it's a variant spelling common in Britain long before the colonies were discovered, likewise 'cuss' for 'curse'. Americans have kept extant a number common variants that died out in the land of institutionalised poverty and halitosis.

You're looking at a portal to the biggest collection of reference material that has ever existed, yet you still managed to fuck up so monumentally.

A heady cocktail of ignorance and pompous nationalism, you're exactly the sort of self righteous and stupid cunt this QOTW is all about.

Now, put me on ignore you asshole.
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 4:23, closed)

I'm not sure I've ever known someone become this^ angry or indignant over a website.
Although there was that time my brother set Ask Jeeves as my homepage...

Fucking Jeeves....
(Andrew Avetoom, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 6:52, closed)

She started it
I thought that was the rules.
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 21:21, closed)

Witless colonial religious extremist^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 7:09, closed)

Four words, four errors.
Your efficiency ought to be celebrated, can we make this a b3ta thing?
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 22:19, closed)

you seem a tad upset, cowpoke

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:03, closed)

Cowpoke? You... you think I'm American, don't you?
Your life really is one fuck up after another, eh dickvein?
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 21:20, closed)

still upset, petal?
there's no shame in being wrong about etymology on the internet, hun

you'll get over it
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 8:06, closed)

^Gaaaaaaaaay^
Don't think I'm not flattered, but thats not my scene and I'm very happily married. I've got a gay friend though, pm your details and I'll get him to call you.

I think he's your type, he has no shame at being wrong about etymology on the internet either, he'd give the latitude I just can't manage.
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:45, closed)

cool
Tell your gay 'friend' that 'ass' for backside is only recorded in US English from the late 18th century and wasn't present in any other international English dialect, so his your idea that it predates colonial English is easily dismissed. You might tell him that although it bears superficial similarity to 'cuss' and 'hoss', these are regional rather than ubiquitous US pronunciations that are much earlier and can be attributed to the combination of rhotic and non-rhotic dialects in the southern states. Then suggest that when he you attempt to discuss something you know nothing about using lazy Google searches, you should probably first check whether the person you're arguing with studied the subject in one of the world's most highly regarded university departments. Then give him a nice sloppy kiss.

tl;dr you're still upset and still wrong
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 7:59, closed)

Halitosis, oh man. LOL

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:30, closed)

I can't believe he forgot to mention the uneven teeth and constitutional monarchy

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:40, closed)

Friend of mine got banned from a (US based) forum for calling someone an "asshole".
The mods informed him that "ass" was acceptable, but "asshole" was not. Is "hole" a terribly offensive term?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:20, closed)

they're sensitive because most Americans don't have holes
they're sewn up at the same time they're circumcised. That's why it's illegal to sell actual food.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:25, closed)

Upset American is Upset.
We could care less... except that we couldn't, because you suck.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:25, closed)

it's most unlike an american to react hysterically

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:44, closed)

I think they've become quite sensitive to the fact that they alone,
of all the nationalities in the world, are considered to be douchebags by default until proven otherwise.

A bit unfair, really, but to be expected.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 13:14, closed)

That’s stereotyping for you.
The majority of Americans I’ve spent time with have been overwhelmingly normal people, embarrassed by and not remotely worthy of their international reputation.
Much the same way Brits rarely turn out to be illiterate and balding fat racists, stuffing themselves on fish n chips in a deck chair with a hanky on their head.
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 21:46, closed)

Actually I think you'll find they do react hysterically, but its all relative
- they just don't register next to your own foamy rants.
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:43, closed)

sarcasm not a strong suit either, eh?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 7:23, closed)

*your

(Eukanuba, Sun 27 Apr 2014, 12:31, closed)

Point made
I win.
(drunksteve is not drunk, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 3:04, closed)

Go home Steve
You're drunk.
( drunkenoaf, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 7:31, closed)

haha
Incredible work, here.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 2:39, closed)