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This is a question Brits Abroad

Union jack shorts, bulldog t-shirts, bars named after soap operas, hen parties in Malaga. Tell us about your encounters with the worst (or best) of our fair country's travelers around the world. Alternatively, tell us about your own doomed quest to find a decent cup of tea in Moscow.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 13:01)
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Hilarious story at the expense of my ex-wife
About 2 weeks after our first date we decided to go on holiday together, to Portugal, over the Christmas break.

On the 25th, the future Mrs Punch wished everyone 'Buena Vista', despite being repeatedly informed that 'Boas Festas' was Portuguese for Merry Christmas and Buena Vista is Spanish for 'lovely view' (or something to do with Disney).
(I helped save b3ta! MisterPunch did it that way on, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 17:01, 12 replies)
My wife is quite
good at Portuguese.
(username failed moderation, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 17:03, closed)
She is fantastic at sucking cock, like YM.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:38, closed)
Hilarious?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 17:28, closed)
You obviously, like, just don't get it, man

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:20, closed)
Hilarious? It's not even a fucking story.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 17:45, closed)
It's completely hilarious in every possible way

(I helped save b3ta! MisterPunch did it that way on, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:18, closed)
Now, this kind of confidence I can respect.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:27, closed)
As misguided as that confidence is regarding this story.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:38, closed)
If you're gonna lie...
...make it completely barefaced, and enough people might just pretend to believe it.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:46, closed)
I've changed my mind and am now totally convinced that you're Peter Ustinov's funnier and sexier brother.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:51, closed)
Ha! Pow!
I've always hated your ex-wife. She's a poopy head and a cunt and she can fuck off.

I'm glad she said "lovely view" instead of "merry Christmas". Serves her right, the fat racist gay cunt anti-Semite, homophobe ninny.
(Andrew Avetoom, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 18:15, closed)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:56, closed)

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