Nitrous Oxide
I went to a party dressed in clear plastic. I had stolen a bottle of N2O, and had it sitting in my passenger seat. My car was a very fast Datsun 510 turbo. Fast for 1979. But fast enough that when I took a giant hit off the bottle, and accelerated onto the freeway, I managed to pass out from the gas, and cartwheel down the freeway while unconscious, for a few hundred yards. This is all without a seatbelt. I woke up with the car on it's side, still holding onto the steering wheel. Somehow I wasn't thrown from the car, or even injured by a heavy tank of gas. I did have a concussion. And at 3am in the morning, I managed to find a security guard to drive me home. I can only imagine what the guy must have thought, seeing me jump an 8 foot fence and run towards him in clear plastic. I still wonder why I'm alive.
( cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 21:06, 9 replies)

I feel the need to be the first person to let the Honda Accord vibe flow into this post

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 21:15, closed)

I"ve gone full spectrum since. I fucking hate cars now.
I try to kill myself on bicycles these days.
( cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 22:24, closed)

Ok do it again but this time say you connected the nitrous directly to the engine to give it 9,000bhp and then accelerated so hard that the supermodel in the passenger seat's clothes all fell off
and then you hit a ramp and did a barrel roll and the supermodel landed on your erect cock and you fucked her brains out whilst being chased by 500 police cruisers armed with gatling guns but you did a wicked 360 and they all ended up in a massive pile up like in Blues Brothers.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 21:35, closed)

That's exactly how it happened!
Except for the part where I was fucking in mid air.

My life sucked severely, as I had put every dime I ever made into that stinking car. Sobs.
( cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 22:21, closed)

I loled

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 23:55, closed)

I like this.
If you're going to post incoherent semi-literate bullshit you should make it as dickish as possible.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 21:43, closed)

I was a dick alright.
I'll never forget standing in front of the judge and weasling my way out of a far more serious offense of having stolen the bottle. A friend lost his job over it.

I sucked.
( cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 22:22, closed)

why?
why would you go to a party dressed in clear plastic?

why did you hate your fellow guests?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:21, closed)

I've done nitrous a few times
a giant hit makes you have a out of body sound timelapse eye juddering headfuckering wibbly wobbly kind of feeling

why in gods name did you think it was a good idea to take a hit off it whilst driving
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 11:13, closed)