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This is a question Bullies

My mum told me to stand up to bullies. So I did, and got wedgied every day for a month. I hated my boss.

Suggested by Mariam67

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 12:27)
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Police Bullies
Have an amusing pearoast from back in December 2007.....

My Dad was a policeman (now retired) and tv programmes like Life On Mars are very near the truth apparently for the average nick in the 1970s and 80s. My Dad is full of stories about what happened then...some of them are exactly like LoM and some are more like Heartbeat....none really have the style and panache of The Sweeney...

Just as in LoM they didn't use tape machines to record interviews which meant that a certain amount of 'leeway' could be employed...

Yes, they could bully their way to a confession.

This did mean that on some occasions the result would actually be humorous (well, for the outside world perhaps, maybe not if it resulted in you being banged up for a long stretch just because the man in uniform didn't like you...but I digress...).

On one particular occasion a man had been brought in for questioning regarding a crime that the police knew he was responsible for but he refused to budge from his story.

The decision was made to attempt to provide a little 'pressure' to ensure the required outcome was arrived at....

One of the coppers on duty was a member of the police diving squad and just happened to have his wetsuit and gear with him.

This was at a coastal police station so someone was sent down to the pier and a large fish was purchased.

The accused had been left in the interview room for a while, alone...then the door opened and in walked a frogman - full kit including flippers and facemask, and carrying a large fish....The questions were posed again and this time with each 'incorrect' answer the accused received a mighty wet fish slap around his chops.

Eventually the chap 'coughed' to the crime and it all went to court in due course.

Once on the stand the defendant withdrew his earlier confession as it had been made under duress, and explained the situation surrounding it....

The judge had him sent off for psychiatric assessment.
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:44, 7 replies)
You know what would be ace, if there was some way of proving that somone had done a bad thing
Then if they told a lie in the courtroom, this stuff could be shown to the court and they would know that the naughty person was telling a lie.

The police could even bring the stuff to the attention of the court somehow.

I'm just rambling... probably a stupid idea really, but it would certainly cut down on the number of people tortured with fish.
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:56, closed)
That's just crazy talk
It would never catch on. Much better to decide who did it and then have the court make it official.
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:13, closed)
But that would be no fun!

(, Mon 18 May 2009, 23:29, closed)
I don't think there are enough fish used in police work anymore.
Must be to do with depleted stocks in the North sea. Shame really.
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:13, closed)
This is probably one of the best QOTW replies
I have ever read, purely for the fantastic mental image it conjures up. Click.
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:13, closed)
Python fans
by any chance? :D
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:23, closed)
make the fish fit the felony
Rape: eel inserted into bumhole
Drugs: blowfish forced up nostril
Assault: battered cod to face
Fraud: pelted with "crabsticks"

the possibilities are endless ...
(, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:29, closed)

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