Birmingham New Street Station
There're many reasons to hate Birmingham, and many more to hate New Street Station (hereafter NSS). But there's one in particular that stands out.

NSS has an automated announcement system, and it has apologies programmed into it for use in the event of a late train. If a train is going to be 5 minutes late (I think it's 5), the robot voice tells you that its sorry for the delay.

This is innocuous enough: a speech act that goes through the motions of contrition. Fine. It's what we all do every day, and I don't see why it being a robot that's apologising makes a difference.

What really annoys me is that the apology program is graded. Should a train be 10 minutes late, the voice becomes very sorry. This hacks me off no end, because the word "very" turns the recording from a socially useful but otherwise meaningless speech act into something that tries to give the impression of sincerity.

Noone minds a non-sicere recorded message. But a would-be sincere one is a crime for which there are few punishments severe enough.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 11:31, 4 replies)

I bloody mind non-sincere recorded messages
"Hey there! You could win our competition! Just ring ... "
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 11:37, closed)

i hate those announcements
why can't they say "blah blah rail apologises for the delay?" instead of programming some poor innocent robot to undergo a continuous cycle of remorse and guilt
( spacefish bong!, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 11:40, closed)

yes
why did they program it to feel pain?
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 15:41, closed)

The people who run the trains could at least have the decency
to accept the guilt themselves, instead of delegating it to some poor voice actor, who probably has to put up with all sorts of shit whenever he goes to buy a newspaper.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 13:37, closed)