May have already been mentioned,
A few weeks ago in a meeting at work, the new boss kept coming out with the phrase "We'll take that off-line."

C***.
(Taunting Lunatics Belming at you since, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:03, 6 replies)

It usually means
"Oh fuck, you put me on the spot here, and to not lose face and show myself up as the clueless fuckwit I am in front of all these people, I will run back to my desk, find out the information you need quickly and then tell you face to face in case it's wrong."

It's quicker, is all.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:06, closed)

THIS
because general over simplified business bollocks phrases like this just hides the general over simplified brains of the business idiots who use them. I hear this stuff on a daily bases and it annoys the piss out of me.

"Let's touch base"
"We're going to do some blue sky thinking here"
"That's a total paradigm shift"
"We need to be pro-active here"
..and I swear to God and sonny Jesus, I even heard one guy bellow "You're a scholar and a gentleman, sir!" down the phone before hanging up.

Stop. It. Right. Now.
(syz, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:16, closed)

I get most of the business bollocks hatred
Except some of it is actually part of the business - for example "we need to be proactive here".

It's like working in a Hospital and complaining that you're sick of hearing surgeons say "I'm going into Theatre" or "My patient just died of malpractice"
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:20, closed)

It's really not.
A surgeon has to go to theater. That's what it's called. They're generally not trying to use fancy phrases to hide some kind of inadequacy. What's wrong with saying "Let's have a meeting" instead of "touching base", or "That's a new and novel idea" rather than it being a "paradigm shift".
(syz, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:24, closed)

I didn't mention any of those particular phrases as being part of the business - read my reply again
Someone earlier was also complaining about hearing bollocks auch as "metrics" and "strategic planning" while at work. I suggested they might be in the wrong line of work.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:28, closed)

I can see where you're comnig from here...
Terms like metrics are not really what I'm talking about though, it's more the kind of wiffle woffle statements that some people seemingly use for lack of anything better to say...

Ah well, I'll just go and off-line so that I can touch base with some friends and revolutionize a paradigm or two with strategic, blue sky, forward thinking; and I'll do it outside of the box.

By which i mean go and talk bollocks down the pub (it is Friday after all)!
(syz, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 17:51, closed)