Ladies magazines such as "Chat" or "Take a Break" using the phrase "MY AGONY"
Yes, I'm sure they are in pure agony....so much so that they can hardly hold the cheque they received to sell the story to the magazine in the first place.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:46, 6 replies)

agony (noun)
1. Being kicked in the clems by a racehorse
2. That felt when coming home to find your wife and kids strung up by their necks using their own eviscerated bowels.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:58, closed)

2 (a) - This is dependant on actually liking your family in the first place
(b)- Only applies if you did not string them up yourself.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:06, closed)

See also
Tabloid use of the word 'Frenzy'.
(theremin put the lotion in the basket on, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:13, closed)

To me
frenzy conjures up the image of an attacker frantically stabbing someone 115 times, as opposed to the shops being busy in the last few days before christmas.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:17, closed)

The best one I saw recently [I admit, I simply had to buy the magazine to read the rest of the story], was this:

"Ex' Tried Beating Me To Death With 15" Dildo"

"...As he beat me with it, I could feel every inch of it's textured length.
...And not in a nice way..."

Seriously.
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 13:13, closed)

Hahahahaha!!!!
"I did not feel the pleasure that was described on the box, as I was beaten unconscious with the phallus..."
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:21, closed)