This very morning
OK I don't work in a call centre but like a lot of people here (I suspect) I am the first resort for all computer-related questions for everyone in my family. This morning it was my mother-in-law's turn.

She couldn't get on the internet on her laptop, she said, Internet Explorer was saying it had connection problems. Then she mentioned that in the bottom corner of the screen was a pop-up from ZoneAlarm firewall, asking her if she wanted to allow IE to connect to the internet. Now she does know what ZA is and what it's for, and the wording of the popup is such that she could probably have guessed that it might be related. But I took her through it slowly again, we opened up access for IE and tried again.

Still no joy: IE just couldn't load a web page. I tried a few things (switch it off and on again!) but nothing worked. So I suggested that perhaps her wireless connection was having a problem.

"But I can get emails." she said.

Oh, I thought. "Well, let's check that and make sure you can still can."

"OK", she replied. "Just let me unplug it."

"Unplug it? Why?"

"Well there's this problem, it's a bit odd, I can't get a wireless connection when the laptop is connected to the mains. If I unplug it, it works OK."

"But...but..."

"Oh, wait a minute, do you think that might be related to the problem with Internet Explorer?"

Yes, her power management was set up to disable wireless when connected to a mains supply. Genius.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 13:21, 11 replies)

I got this from my mother all the time
In the end I got so fed up trying to picture the screen she was describing, I got her to download a remote control program.

Now whenever she needs any help, she fires the program up first, and I can see exactly what she's talking about. And fix whatever problem it is myself.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 3 Sep 2009, 13:25, closed)

I do that too
...but it's not much good for internet connection problems.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 13:26, closed)

Why are all mothers useless with their computers?
I'm talking about grown up mothers (like mine, not me).

She has just decided to sign up to Facebook - I've told her I won't be her friend on it,that would be ridiculous. I've also told her if she can't work out how other people have 'hijacked' her page then she shouldn't be on it.
No one has hijacked her page - it's the normal feed you get from your friends.

She also won't put anything on Ebay because there are too many words.

Yes.

But she'll buy from Ebay.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 13:38, closed)

Apologies if you've seen it already
www.xkcd.com/627/
(nothingworn didn't eat cheese on, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 13:56, closed)

duly printed
see below
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 14:11, closed)

I was waiting for that to appear...
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 17:01, closed)

Oh man
I had my mother calling all day because her Windows taskbar was stuck up the right of the screen and not at the bottom where it normally lives:

"Click and drag it to the bottom, then."

"That's not doing anything."

"Right-click on the taskbar. Make sure there isn't a tick next to 'Lock the taskbar'. Click and drag it to the bottom of the screen."

"It's still not doing anything."

"This isn't technical or anything, you can move your taskbar around. Just click on it with your left mouse button, and with the mouse button still pressed down, drag it to the side of the screen that you want it on."

"But why would it move in the first place?"

"You, or another person who uses your computer, has moved it by clicking and dragging it to the right hand side of the screen."

"I'm sure I haven't."

"That's not important. Just click and drag it to the bottom."

"It's still not doing anything. Can you come over and fix it?"

*half-hour drive*

*click*

*drag*

*lock taskbar*

"How did you do that? It wouldn't do that for me. How would it get up there in the first place? I don't know how you know so much about computers etc. etc. etc."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 14:10, closed)

*Nods*
I feel your pain.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 14:51, closed)

Twice a week at work
every week. Almost word for word.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:42, closed)

Ugh.
I get so sick of this.
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 3 Sep 2009, 21:12, closed)

for a small elderly frail old lady
my mam demolishes all things technical or mechanical... some examples

1: The dishwasher door, and not an old dishwasher mind you but the guys that installed it left out a screw or two, therefore the closing function didn't slide as it should... twasn't long before it didn't slide at all

2: The sliding (uppy downy type) garage door.. Partly my mistake for installing a wall frame for holding my bike while adjusting the gears and not allowing enough space to open the door fully. Informed my mum that garage door could only be operated at 2/3 capacity henceforth or until I moved the frame a bit. She appeared to understand but a week or so after I got a call about the garage door being 'stuck' on something.... Arrived back to a seriously mangled garage door twisted up with bike support frame - I'm a biggish fella and it took me quite a bit of grunting to separate the two entities.


3: A new tape player I got her for her room as she had loads of tapes and likes music - day 01 inserting a tape... you know tapes only go in one way, but she managed to squash it in the wrong way round, applying some force . . . "but mam why did you use so much force ?" . . . "because the door wouldn't close of course" and did she get it in and close the door , never to open again,,,

by christ she did

1 world war - 8 epidemics - fuck knows how many resecions

she's a legend
(The Cats Twat, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 16:35, closed)