I used to work for a bank call centre...
.... highlights include -

Cust - What happened to my fucking dole payment?! Why have you bastards stolen it?
Me - I have 8 separate withdrawls here from the local casino ATM last night which withdrew the full amount. Would that have been you sir?
Cust - Shit I knew I shouldn't have got drunk. (slightly more depressing was that I could see his payment include child benefit)

or

Cust - So I've spent the $10000 with my credit card... so do I just throw it in the bin now?
Me - Um, you can but you have to continue to make repayments.
Cust - Repayments?

or

Cust - why the hell is there thousands been withdrawn from my home loan????
Me - That would be the monthly interest charge.
Cust - what the fuck are you talking about?!! What charges???




I kid you not! I know banks are cunts but pleeeese don't make it any harder on yourself and learn to read and count to ten. And be nice to the person on the phone. It's not easy explaining rudimentary financials to morons all day and i was always happy to extend credit and clear cheques early for someone who was actually polite.
(Lissy, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:12, 4 replies)

The second one
is great.

So great, it's earned you a click.

Look: *clicks*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:41, closed)

Agreed!
That 2nd one is equally horrifying and hilarious at the same time! Clicktastic!
(MrNorm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:34, closed)

Credit cards ...
ought to require a minimum IQ, just like driving licences.
(Que?, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 5:17, closed)

Having dealt with and worked on helplines....
The employees at my bank are the most efficient and proffessional. I don't have much time for the incompetant fuckwits at the helm, but I've always found bank call centre staff to be good. The Student Loans Company, though....
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 18:01, closed)