Ahhh
I see that a number of company car related posts have made their way onto QOTW and thought I should add my own. For anyone who reads any of my regular posts will know that I work for the government. Nothing major just an office job with a number of perks through years of service including a company car. While I treat my car with due care and attention I know a couple of people we work with that end up costing our department a shedload on either repairs or vehicle replacements. The main culprit for disregard of property is J, a bloke who I will not be able to name for obvious reasons.

J is one of our field workers and while I have only met him in passing he has written off a large number of company vehicles costing us (And therefore the taxpayer) £££’s.

I have heard the tale of when he rolled one of his cars after a night on the lash. According to witness reports he was seen leaving a club at god knows what time at night and sped off down some country lane at high speed, the next thing we know is his car is found in a heap in the middle of the field and J using the excuse of he thought he saw someone in the road. The other funny thing was that he had the audacity to place the repairs, (Alcoholic) drinks and gambling receipts on the same claim form.

A few times his boss has had to step in , I don’t really know what had happened but all spending on his office credit card was frozen for a while but that was taken off a few days later.

What really REALLY gets on my nerves is that the higher ups ALWAYS let him have a decent motor. While I am stuck to drive in a low spec VW Passat with no extras and would probably get bitchslapped down to a Corsa if I did anything to it, J gets a number of top of the range models with all the gadgets and extras. I remember him having a phase where he used BMW’s but ditched them to go back to the Aston Martins at one point.

As I’m thinking of his wasteful spending I just thank god that half of the slag’s he hooks up with are killed after sleeping with him as we would get a number of claims from them when they realise they caught a number of STD’s from him.

As I said before, sorry I can’t mention his name as this blokes got a license to kill so he would do me away anytime he wanted.

Better get off now the place hates us looking at sites like this while we are at work.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:05, 15 replies)

Awesome
Click.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:14, closed)

Dammit!
Fell for it hook, line and sinker, right up until the last line. Argh. *clicky*
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:18, closed)

Every sodding time
I only twigged when I got to the bit about Aston Martins.

Note to self: look at who's posting before reading the post
(BearWithLittleBrain, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:13, closed)

you fucker
I got as far as Aston Martin...
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:27, closed)

Me too
I was all ready for the full Accord "No way would the government give some an aston as company car, you lying shit"

So consider that a badge of quality writing, Bison. Nice work.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:56, closed)

Thanks
:-)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:43, closed)

Fourth sentence
C+. Must try harder.
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:00, closed)

Well Done MatJ
You seem to get them quicker than anyone else

(Tips cap)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:42, closed)

I don't know why
It's something in the style. They don't quite read like narrative.

Edit: I've had a think. It could be because they have less scene setting than most of the stories here - some specific details in the introduction would be better.
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 22:35, closed)

Ta
Will make note of that for future ones.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:28, closed)

I got to ...
... the bonkees getting killed before twiging, although I found the Astons hard to believe.

Nicely done.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:45, closed)

Good work.
Took me until the license to kill.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:46, closed)

Ditto.
Agh! =D
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 19:56, closed)

click
excellent
(justin(e), Tue 27 Apr 2010, 13:22, closed)

*Penny Dropped*
AHAHAH! Well Done! i too twigged at Aston Martin... clicky!
(TheManofScience, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 15:09, closed)