Its a matter of timing
Fellas, you have a much higher success rate of chatting a woman up if she is ovulating.
Although how you find that out may need some subtle work.

What chat up lines would you try?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 17:54, 22 replies)

Hmm. I may be able to assist in ascertaining this...
...goes back what feels like a thousand years to anatomy and physiology...

Gents, could I suggest a thermal camera app to your iPhones? If the object of your affections is ovulating her body temperature will be mildly increased.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 17:58, closed)

Or she might be in the secondary stage of syphilis.
Just saying.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 18:10, closed)

Very true.
Alongside rashes on the palms.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 18:19, closed)

I see
Excuse me love would you mind putting this in your mouth?
Hands over a thermometer
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 18:34, closed)

May Be Easier?
www.amazon.co.uk/iCAMView-Infrared-USB-Camera-CM-01d-01/dp/B001IUDQRA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1260902558&sr=1-2

It's an IR camera ... :)
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 18:43, closed)

Hmmm
I think being introduced to someone who then produced a IR camera would freak me out
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 2:03, closed)

yeah, but it's near IR*
it will just give you a picture that looks like a funny coloured version of an ordinary camera, as it will only pick up IR frequencies near the visible spectrum.

You want far-IR to get proper heat tracking. The stuff that's heading down towards radio wave frequencies.

*I'm assuming this, based on the £18 price tag.
(Spidge New sig needed, donations gratefully accepted., Wed 16 Dec 2009, 12:02, closed)

Bacon Rashes?
yum!
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 21:56, closed)

And you would know this how?
;)

Edits
pfft that was a reply to Juan up there
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 2:06, closed)

Or
The pub/club or whatever you are in is packed and steamy
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 2:05, closed)

You can tell if you're paying attention.
Skimpier outfits, more blushing of the chest, increased sensitivity of nipples, ears, ...
You have to be mindful of the first meeting flirting though, and you have to be interested in just banging someone with no regard for the future or consequence.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 19:06, closed)

Are you actually ovulating or are you just pleased to see me.
Badum tish!
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 19:57, closed)

Sniggers
;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 2:05, closed)

Hi, it is hot in here or what?

( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 21:01, closed)

Probably not good
If the woman is of a 'certain' age'
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 2:02, closed)

I think I should print a t-shirt.
It's safe, I'm ovulating.
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 21:24, closed)

ha ha
Safe as in guaranteed to pull?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 2:01, closed)

Isn't that the least safe time?
As far as getting up the duff is concerned?

Although of course Liverpool wouldn't be playing at home. There is that benefit.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 8:48, closed)

Weird
I used to know a music teacher who could tell most of the time if a girl was ovulating (and, with more accuracy, if she was on her period). And he would rather creepily hint this to them at random moments. Of course this was in the good old days before pedophilia was invented, so no problem there.
(Smale is stuffed, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 10:45, closed)

Easy;
Me; Hi!
Her; Gerraway you all want the same thing I HATE YOU
This is an example of probable period time.

Me; Hi!
Her; Fancy a nice girly film and some chocolate?
This is an ambiguous example with no known outcome.

Me; Hi!
Her; Fancy a cuppa? Nice day?
Not a chance mate.




Now before you all flame, I am aware that the timing and hormonal differences change throughout this time. It's still a good rule of thumb though.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 10:53, closed)

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
any response along the lines "travelling along my fallopian tubes" and your in!
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:11, closed)

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
non-fertilised please
(7thtier 3rd from the left, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 16:44, closed)