Severely pissed off
fighting through the hoards of tourists and shoplifters in Primarks on Oxford Street, my girlfriend asks the shop assistant:

"Excuse me, do you have any brown dressing gowns?" she turns to me as I stand sheepishly behind her. We'd had a row about me walking round in Le Buff at home; what with the terrible unintentional flashing incident involving the Japanese couple next door who saw my meat and two veg while they were doing their gardening. I had to get a dressing gown. I was on an official warning.

The tired, bored shop assistant starts: "We've got blue, green, red-"

My girlfriend, Liz, tired and irritable from a hard days work raises her hand: "Sorry, has to be brown," then she turns to me and says: "Tell the lady why it has to be brown, go on!"

And I mumble: "So I can pretend to be Obi Wan Kenobi when I'm doing the hoovering..."
( SpankyHanky, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 16:45, 10 replies)

hahahaha, I actually have a large black dressing gown with a hood
I didn't buy it just so I could pretend to be the Emperor.
*shifty look*
( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 16:53, closed)

Be careful when hoovering behind the sofa
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 16:58, closed)

Blue
was not the gown you were looking for....
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 17:00, closed)

Ah
I was expecting a follow through related incident! I was sat on the sofa, nekkid, one day at home when I cocked my leg and farted... And followed through on the fucking GLOVE I'd somehow sat on without realising. A three inch long brown smelly slug was evidence of my faux pas, and a bust nut from laughing at my girlfriends horrified reaction will give me trouble on cold days for years to come.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack I just felt like sharing. Give us a love!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 17 Sep 2009, 17:02, closed)

Oh god
please give this its own thread so I can click it!
I mean, I clicked it anyway, but that doesn't do a whole lot...
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 3:55, closed)

humpf
my wife said i wasn't allowed a brown dressing gown because she doesn't like the colour, i was going to get a cream coloured one as well and wear it under the brown one, i had a little sulk.

then bought the big lego star destroyer

and another master replica lightsabre

i win
(amazinglasercow now sporting terawatt mining lasers, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:35, closed)

This
is the very epitomy of 'win'.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 12:36, closed)

Stop the QOTW
We have a winner.

*clicky*
(DigitalRaven will have to make do with gin, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 20:49, closed)

Likes this
Good one Spanky

Clicks!
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 22 Sep 2009, 15:52, closed)

Great !
this had me doing a proper full on lol at my desk. Thanks !
(Lizard King, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 11:06, closed)