And another thing...
Gods love the b3tan who reminded me of this one.

Here's a simple freaking quiz.
1) Are you Eastern European?
2) Are you drinking it mixed with tomato juice, with optional celery, celery salt, worcestershire, or hot sauce?
3) Are you drinking it straight, in shots, just out of the freezer?

If the answer to these three questions is no, then STOP DRINKING VODKA AND GET A BIG KID PAIR OF ALCOHOLIC PANTS.

Vodka is tasteless, colorless, and mostly textureless. Vodka is alcohol for people who can't handle alcohol. Vodka is designed to be hidden by some sick tutti-frutti mixture so that chavs/frat boys/sorority girls/Jerry Springer extras can get shotfaced while pretending it's just orange-banana-cherry juice.

Drink gin, for gods' sake. Drink whisk(e)y. Become knowledgeable about wine. Go be a beachcomber in Trinidad and drink rum. Learn how to order -- and make -- proper cocktails instead of Crown and Coke.

But I swear to Dionysus, the next person who asks me how to make a martini with vodka will get a serious ranting-at.
(springjack The King Of Pygmy Marmosets!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:58, 22 replies)

if you really think Vodka is tasteless...
then you know less than bugger-all about drink.
and no, i'm not talking about the novelty fruit-flavoured ones.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:02, closed)

^this
.
( JebediahSpringfield, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:07, closed)

^ This.
Stolichnaya, neat, one of the nicest drinks I've had.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:13, closed)

or Zytnia, or Pan Tadeusz, or Wyborowa, or Krupnik...
or any one of the dozens of brands available in supermarkets not just in Poland (from whence my wife hails) but also in the UK. that's just one of the benefits of the EU.

a serious lack of knowledge up there^^^
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:21, closed)

Vodka.
I love Polish vodka -- specifically Monopolowa, neat, cold. Or in a Bloody Mary.
(springjack The King Of Pygmy Marmosets!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:23, closed)

then what the hell is this about then?
"Vodka is tasteless, colorless, and mostly textureless. Vodka is alcohol for people who can't handle alcohol. Vodka is designed to be hidden by some sick tutti-frutti mixture so that chavs/frat boys/sorority girls/Jerry Springer extras can get shotfaced while pretending it's just orange-banana-cherry juice."
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:30, closed)

How do you make a martini with vodka?
(XmanX captain upsetter hahahahaha, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:03, closed)

Vodka martini.
I suspect this is a cultural thing...

In the US, sometime in the mid-seventies, bars started offering vodka martinis. Just like a gin martini, but with vodka.

Then -- you had to start asking to get gin in your martini.

Now, most bad bartenders assume when you ask for a 'martini' you mean with vodka. Worse, this has created mutant offspring like the 'Appletini' -- which is vodka with sour apple liqueur.

A martini has gin, vermouth, lemon bitters (if you can find it), and ice, at least in my reality.
(springjack The King Of Pygmy Marmosets!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:25, closed)

But I wanted, nay deserved, a serious ranting-at!
(XmanX captain upsetter hahahahaha, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:45, closed)

Sorry...
...I decided to be factual for once. :)
(springjack The King Of Pygmy Marmosets!, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 2:45, closed)

vodka tastes disgusting!
Apart from when hidden in an alcopoppy thing, but with coke or something - euw no, I'd much rather have rum or something please.
(deadly_sinners, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:10, closed)

each to his/her own.
but to lump all Vodkas in together?
that's like saying all cars are a horrid colour just cos you once had a yellow car and you hate yellow.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:23, closed)

Correction
Cheap Vodka tastes disgusting, the Decent stuff is good enough to drink easily without realising how much you've drunk until you try to go to the Gents and find you have no sensation in your legs
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 23:04, closed)

60% vodka straight from the freezer, in a frozen glass
Excellent

Standard Smirnoff, warm, shite.
.
( lord bofingham, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:34, closed)

Chopin
Polish vodka made from potatoes, best served ice cold, neat.
(twoheads Is currently broke on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:39, closed)

I'd forgotten about Chopin...
luvvvverly!
so many tastey Vodkas to choose from.
good god, i love having Polish in-laws and Polish holidays...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:47, closed)

Cheap vodka has its uses
I keep a bottle of cheapo vodka around so that if it's a Friday night and I'm buggered from a long week, but I'm going to a party later on, I can have a couple of vodka/Red Bulls at home before going. Means I'm more likely to stay awake through the party, and the horrible taste of the Red Bull is disguised somewhat by the vodka.

I do like good vodka as well, though. My mother is half-Polish, so on Christmas Eve we generally have some marinated herring on rye bread washed down with ice cold shots of Żubrówka. Delicious.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 0:05, closed)

Zubrowka
and appletiser. (or just apple juice, but I find fizzy works better)
NOM.
(berk, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:07, closed)

Hell yeah!
I got to introduce other people to that last weekend. I reckon that they should have some kind of a shrine in my honour now.
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 11:19, closed)

Mmmm...
Wyborowa, Bison Grass Vodka - very nice.

My Polish lodger bought me back some Oak Vodka from a recent trip home - I've yet to taste that :)

Take your Smirnoff and shove it..
( snee held his breath since, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:00, closed)

I have seen it...
...haven't had it. What, exactly, sort of taste does it give the vodka?
(springjack The King Of Pygmy Marmosets!, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 2:44, closed)

see here!
nieminen/vodka
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:15, closed)