Compared to when I was a student,
nowadays I'm a bit snobbish. I was pretty rough back then.

My mates and I would go out drinking, and then have farting competitions. Marks were awarded for duration, resonance of tone and of course pungency.

We also had burping competitions, which ran on standardised fuel, this being one fish supper and one can of Irn Bru. Marks were awarded similarly.

One day, we decided on a little experiment. We'd trap our farts in empty jam jars, screw the lids on then open and then sniff them next morning. This is a particularly vile thing to do, as the odour is inhaled when one is fragile from the night before, and makes one feel a tad unwell.

Anyway, the games progressed, and we then discovered absinthe. Not the cheap nasty stuff you usually find, but the proper syrupy green fluid with loads of wormwood. We did the usual setting fire to it and so on, but soon discovered that a few hours after drinking it, it tainted our flatulence with a characteristic odour. So out came the jam jars....

Next morning, we came to open the jars to do the usual check, and to our collective amazement, in each jar was a tiny model motorcycle. A perfect replica of the full size Honda NTV650 in every way. We wondered who had accessed the jars during the night, and why they would do such a bizarre thing, so we asked around during the day, but no-one would admit to it.

On returning to our flat that evening, we noticed that the models had increased in size during the day. And that is the point at which we discovered....

Absinthe makes the fart grow Honda.

Sorry
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 8:33, 7 replies)

Very very... Erm... good!
To my eternal shame, my mates and I used to do the jam-jar thing in class when we were about fifteen. And yes, they yes rank.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 8:40, closed)

Fucking hell!
I'm slightly ahamed to say I *clicked* this.

It reminds me of the 'My Green Hairy Lip Squid' joke.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 8:48, closed)

The green hairy lipsquid joke.
Bloody hell, is that still going?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 9:59, closed)

Have a click
Because I've got two bottles of the stuff within arm's reach. Woo!
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:59, closed)

I feel like an idiot...
.. I'm usually quick to pick up on puns, but this one confuses me. Perhaps because English is not my primary language?
(Obsidian, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:32, closed)

It's a pun on a Spoonerism of a proverb
which explains why you're confused!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:29, closed)

I'll
Give you one point for not saying Honda Revere but take it back for failing to mention that you also get tulips from hamster jam.
(Benzyl, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 0:08, closed)