Commoners...
The following people were indicted recently by a grand jury:

Tyrone Theodore Baylor, unknown date of birth and address, possession of marijuana, possession of a schedule I or II narcotic

Melissa Nicole Bentley, 23, Woodford, assault and battery against a family member

Michael Thomas Brockmyer, 41, Ruther Glen, sodomy

Paul Phillip Benson III, 30, Woodford, grand larceny

Beverly Cook Brooks, 41, Richmond, habitual offender

Angela Marie Brown, 41, Hanover, malicious wounding

Carl Eugene Brown Jr., 21, Hanover, possession of a schedule I or II narcotic

Jermaine To'Mas Brown, unknown date of birth and address, breaking and entering, damage to property

Adam Clinton Butler, unknown date of birth and address, child neglect

Gilberto Cisneros, unknown date of birth and address, indecent liberties with a child

Maria M. Cruz, unknown date of birth and address, possession of poison with intent to kill

Tracy Leigh Cranford, 41, Milford, arson, two counts of child neglect

Anthony Davis, 42, Richmond, grand larceny, wearing a mask in public, possession of burglary tools, conspiracy, breaking and entering, destruction of property

Carrie Sue Duke, 31, Bowling Green, six counts of forgery, three counts petit larceny, three counts identity theft

Terry Lee Duke, 22, Stafford, four counts breaking and entering, four counts grand larceny

Lloyd Vincent Ferguson Sr., 49, Ruther Glen, possession of a schedule I or II narcotic

Patrick Ryan Flaherty, 21, Stafford, grand larceny

Sherwood Milton Fountain, unknown date of birth and address, DUI-2nd offense, refusal, habitual offender

Jermaine Lavell Freeman, 35, Hanover, failure to register as a sex offender

Michael Dean Gilbert, 53, Woodford, breaking and entering, possession of burglary tools, two counts of possession of stolen goods

Leroy Habibilah, 52, Ashland, wearing a mask in public, possession of burglary tools, burglary, breaking and entering, destruction of property, grand larceny

Richard A. Haynes, 24, Ruther Glen, breaking and entering, grand larceny

Margi Nicole Lewis, 26, no fixed address, possession of stolen goods

David Lee Harris, 42, Ruther Glen, indecent liberties, aggravated sexual battery

Phillip D. Harris, 33, Ruther Glen, grand larceny

Benjamin Jon Heath, unknown date of birth and address, possession with intent to distribute heroin, conspiracy

Ricky Alan Heinbaugh Jr., unknown date of birth and address, robbery

Andrew Scott Hopkins, 39, Beaverdam, possession of cocaine

Hiroko O. Hughes, unknown date of birth and address, malicious wounding
(The Lunatic Artist throws paint to the wind, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:34, 18 replies)

Heh.
Anthony Davis, 42, Richmond, grand larceny, wearing a mask in public...

Kinda makes Halloween a bitch, doesn't it?

Jermaine Lavell Freeman, 35, Hanover, failure to register as a sex offender

I've never registered as one either. Is that required in Virginia? I've never sexually assaulted anyone- is that part of life around here? Am I going to jail for not doing it?

Virginia's a wacky place... *puts on mask and whips out todger*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:48, closed)

Oh right
those are quite funny. My post below is looking slightly redundant now.

I'm not sure I ever want to go to Virginia now if I have to register myself.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:54, closed)

Aww, c'mon, al
you'll love it! I bet we can even find some goats!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:56, closed)

I'll bet
you have some sort of law against that as well.

Pah, the states doesn't sound like much fun if you can't larcen freely in your mask whilst touching children inappropriately without being arrested.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:58, closed)

Oh, I dunno.
I've seen plenty of women trotting around with enough cosmetic surgery to make them look like the Joker, so I'd say they have a lifelong mask there. And they may well be touching children inappropriately- after all, it's the nanny who's supposed to touch them so Mommy doesn't mess up her hair or makeup or break a nail, so if they actually came into contact with the fruit of their loins, wouldn't that be inappropriate?

...okay, so maybe that's more southern California than here, but still...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 22:04, closed)

yeah, but
there's still the lack of larceny. I do love to larcen, and I don't know why the world can't just accept that as part of me without judging me and my larcenous ways.

I don't even know what larceny is, but I have an urge to try it.

Unless it's kiddy fiddling.

Or bumming.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 22:07, closed)

I think
it has something to do with drawing Far Side cartoons on the sides of buildings.

Either that or it's setting things on fire in a particularly Gallic way, perhaps while wearing a striped shirt and beret with a disdainful sniff at the baseness of it all. "Zut alors! I haff been reduced to l'arson for ze entertainment!"
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 22:13, closed)

a definite
MFOTFABL moment.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 22:17, closed)

I love those moments
best of all the acronym moments.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 23:27, closed)

I was thinking of
writing a song to go with that.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 23:36, closed)

I can just see it now
Remember the chef in The Little Mermaid? Singing about "Le Poisson"? You could do it as "Le Arson"...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 23:50, closed)

Is there a joke in this anywhere?
It's just a rather long list to wade through without any obvious point.

Unless of course they are all related. That would be funny.

Especially if they were related to you.

I'm not implying you're a criminal btw, it just would be quite funny if that was also your family tree.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:53, closed)

the joke?
Now that is funny.
(The Lunatic Artist throws paint to the wind, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 22:27, closed)

I don't get it
either.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 22:49, closed)

I think
it might have something to do with HG Wells being a eugenicist and the UN being laregly responsible for the state of the worlds banks and the Vatican are spying on your toilet.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 23:05, closed)

The point
was that they were basically the lowest common denominator from a rural chunk of Virginia.

Having been up to that area I can say that they were likely the most wretched hive of scum and villainy this side of Mos Eisley spaceport...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 18 Oct 2008, 0:12, closed)

The joke...
is I find it funny to think of these people in my family. Besides we don't get caught...
(The Lunatic Artist throws paint to the wind, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 14:09, closed)

heh
Unless Your name is Jonathan King.
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Wed 22 Oct 2008, 16:17, closed)