Has everyone done their CCST?
Compulsory Caste Self-assesment Test:

- Do you pronounce "th", "f" and/or "v"?

- Do you drop your "t"s?

- Have you ever allowed the word "innit" to pass your lips, other than in jest or derision?

- Do you use the word "like" more than any other?

- Does the apostrophe frighten or confuse you?

- Do you pronounce the word "ask", "aks"?

- Do you often ask people for information which is clearly displayed in close proximity to you? or entirely obvious to anyone who can tie their own shoes?

- Have you ever worn an earring bigger than your ear?

- Do your current trousers have any kind of stripe on the side?

- Would standing within three feet of an electric heater in your current trousers constitute a fire hazard?

- Does an evening with friends entail standing around in a public street? outside a local shop perhaps?

- Do you challenge random strangers to fights?

- Have you spent any money on a modification to your car, which, while not improving its performance in any way, is aesthetically modelled on a performance enhancing modification? (ie, have you paid a grand to have someone stick an airscoop through your bonnet, and done nothing with the air scooped by it?)

- Do you communicate solely in short questions? waiting for a response? after each question? just to be sure the other person understands? do you repeat those questions? almost endlessly? in a variety of barely altered alternatives? just slightly different each time? nearly the same? all very similar? just to be sure? because you don't want to get confused? or suffer any misunderstanding? or not get it? *fade to black*

If the answer to any of these questions is in any way affirmative, then I'm afraid that you are common scum of the lowest caste, and, as such, fully deserve to be put to death.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 2:10, 7 replies)

i have worn earrings larger than my ears
but, in my defence, it was the 80's.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 3:02, closed)

Why don't you just go the whole hog
and put anyone who isn't white, straight and upper-middle class to death?

I can certainly tell you've been educated.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 3:19, closed)

Why don't you
understand the concept of irony a bit better.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 9:27, closed)

Yes
Because all that was said in complete seriousness.

Doctor, We need a sense of humour transplant, stat!
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 10:57, closed)

*books own execution*
Several of my work trousers have a light pinstripe, which may or may not be a fashion crime, but I had no idea that I is obviously a raving chav, innit.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 9:15, closed)

i occasionally drop my 't's and 'g's,especially to get a good response with ''fuckin' 'ell''
but i have one of the largest vocabs of any 19yo i've ever met.as such i fail your sodding test but i'm dead clever,GUV'NOR
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Sat 18 Oct 2008, 12:06, closed)

i had
to answer yes to several of these questions . My car is modified. i often ask the obvious . I often stand outside shops with my mates at night .

If anyone thinks im common i will nick you and fabricate some evidence.

Love PC Welgar
(welgar, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 22:43, closed)