Common British Tourists Abroad. (and ex pats)
Living close to a holiday area, sadly I get to see Common British tourists, and actually common expats quite often.

You can spot them a mile away. I live in the warmer climate of Southern Spain as most of you know. I generall give British Tourists one of two names.

"Just Landed": Fresh off their easyjet flight, theyre wandering town with no t-shirt on, shorts and flip flops (despite it only being 25c) and getting excited about finding a bar called "The Queen Vic" which sells Guinness and Pukka Pies. They stand out above anyone else because they're pastey white.

"Day 2". The red lobsters, wandering around with a vest on, sweating and grumbling that its "too hot" and that they feel poorly because the ice cubes are different. "It must be 'water 'ere!"

Serioulsy though, I love British tourists that come out to foreign countries and just expect to get the same as they do at home. (end sarcasm). Ive dragged people into Spanish tapas bars for them to ask for a "Smirnoff Ice"

And Ex Pats.. oh gawd, sometimes I think theyre worse. They learnt how to say Por Favor and Gracias, so suddenly they're a native speaker. They all seem to have really strong southern accents for some reason. Like they really need to throw their accent across far more than they would have done at home. Because they now live here, they are so up and above the tourists and get insulted when people think that they're tourists.
Despite living here they know sod all about Spain, and its people and spend most of their time whinging and moaning that its too hot and how things dont work the same here as they did back home.

That'll do for now :)
(Miggyman, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 22:51, 13 replies)

YES! YES! YES!
I've just been to visit some family in Benalmadena and I found that everyone was like this.

Thank you, I now know it's not just me that found it tiresome.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 23:03, closed)

Yeah thats not far from me actually.
Well im kinda away from Brit holiday tourist hot spot nearer towards Gibraltar. People here havnt just been shitting out of Malaga airport and actually know a little bit about Spain as they've dared to venture further than the train will take them :)
(Miggyman, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 23:15, closed)

I'm in Barcelona
and it's just as bad.

Are all Andalusians as loud as the ones I have above me (i.e. very loud)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:01, closed)

Yeah fraid so..
.. Tho ive heard louder brits. Infact I have a scottish couple above me who are f*kin loud arguing all the time!
(Miggyman, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:56, closed)

well yes
us Scots like to argue, loudly. But mostly we speak quietly.

Upstairs from me, I have an old lesbian couple, one from here, the other Andalusian - she is incredibly loud, and even when talking, we hear every word she says. Worse when she's on the phone, or arguing, cuase the decibel level almost doubles. Stupid woman.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 10:00, closed)

I was lucky to have the use of a little car,
which I used to venture up to the very top of the nearest hill. There I found a small village that wasn't full of english, and also a building site.

It seems that most of Benelmadina is a building site, actually.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 10:10, closed)

yep
Its the same here in southern France, and the ex-pats are definately the worst. You can hear the english voice, speaking significantly louder than anyone else, from the other side of the supermarket. They run around in ex uk cars that they havent bothered to re register here, they congregate in UK style pubs moaning about the lack of HP sauce, bacon and decent chocolate, swaping tips on how to remain off the radar to avoid paying tax, whilst simultaneously claiming social and health benefits.

I was in the local shop and some booster was there speaking to the shopkeeper as if she were a demented child, trying to get an exchange butane bottle.
"Hello? Gas, id like some gas...GAS....do you undersdtand me? G A S. please. seel tu play."
He wasnt some tourist in the campsite without a clue, he owns a house here and spends several months every year living here, yet hasnt bothered his arse to learn even the most basic of conversations. Arrogant twat. And English people honestly wonder why they are so universally hated abroad?
(dave likes cheese, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 23:35, closed)

Oh gosh yes.
English plated cars here everywhere. And then when Im in England everyones moaning about foreign cars! Makes me laugh it really does!
(Miggyman, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:58, closed)

I went to Spain last year
to stay with some mates, and I actually did sit on the beach overlooking the med, with my pasty white skin, with a pint of lager and a full english breakfast one morning. I also bough a gigantic green, tacky, sombrero and wore it proudly too. Mostly because it's somewhat fun to play to peoples stereoypes (and I love fried breakfasts)

However, I did learn enough of the language to get by, and I did try all the local (mostly gorgeous) tapas, most of which was seafood of various types as we were on the coast. I visited out of the way places, and chatted with Spanish folks too. But damn, there were ex pats who'd been living there for 10 years or more, and spoke less Spanish than me, and had probably seen less of the place than me - and I was only there for 10 days! Shameful.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 23:57, closed)

Yeah very true.
We do like our home comforts when away. But its great to get out and see what the place is really about. Hire a car, go for a drive away from the tourist zones. Its brilliant.
And youre right, you probably did speak more spanish than the local ex pat population :) So good on you :)
(Miggyman, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:01, closed)

Oh man,
here in California, I get told to go to the "British Dominion Club" by where I live. My response is always "why?"
Americans respond "because it's where the English people go"

.......
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 6:00, closed)

...and then go on, completely straightfaced, about how they wouldn't live in England any more
because of all the bleedin' immigrants.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 10:57, closed)

Aye
...who "don't make an effort to fit in" *facepalm*
(costas, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 11:54, closed)