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This is a question The B3TA Confessional

With the Pope about to visit the UK, what better time to unburden yourself of anything that's weighing on your mind by posting it on the internet? Pay particular attention to the Seven Deadly Sins of lust, greed, envy, pride, posting puns on the QOTW board and the other ones. Top story gets to kneel before His Holiness's noodly appendage, or something

(, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47)
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epic tale of a Czech boy
Growing up I lived in a tough neighbour hood. Like really fucking tough. I didn’t know anyone who didn’t carry a knife. Or anyone that wasn’t in a gang. People think gangs are a lifestyle choice - they are not. You just get swept up and carried along. Sometimes fantasy and real life blurred at the edges. But this was the cold reality of my existence and there was no escape from it. I looked up at the same sky as everyone else but we were shit poor. I didn't ask anything of anyone. I learned quickly to accept the ebb and flow of things. Some of the times we had were great others were the lowest points of my young life. I learned to just go with it, whatever happened – to be honest I didn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything.

Until that is, the day I had to break it to my mother I had committed murder. She couldn’t accept it, simply refused to believe it. The worst part was when she demanded to know how I had killed the poor bloke. Having to tell my own mother I had shot another young man at point blank range is still to this day indescribable. He died instantly of massive head wounds. Pulling the trigger was simple, but I hadn’t any idea of the consequences. She was distraught. She told me I had thrown my entire life away. I have never seen anyone cry with such gut-wrenching pain. I didn’t want this for her. I didn't mean to make this happen. I did to do the only thing I could. I ran. The following day i was gone but my mother had to try and pretend she knew nothing of this terrible thing and continue life as normal.

But all too soon the game was up. By the time i was caught i was in a terrible state, I was petrified and every part of my body ached. I waved goodbye to my life, my mother, I didn't want it all to be over but frankly by this time I wished I’d never even been fucking born.

In court I looked at the judge, a little thin wisp of a man. He was a joke, a fucking buffoon. We danced around the whole stupid legal process. Being in remand was terrifying. The first night in prison there was a huge storm, thunder scares me but the banging of doors and the clatter of hundreds of other men terrified me. All at once my place in the gang – the security of it meant nothing. I was just another dirt poor fucker trapped in a hole. My family was skint, there would be no fancy lawyers to come save me from the inevitability of the situation. But my attitude was still – who gives a fuck?

Clearly there was no way out of this one, but then, on a technicality I got off. Reluctantly they let me go, well got off for now that is - if there is a Hell then there is surely a place set aside for me.

You can think what you like of me. Some people call me scum others just turned their backs on me. But when it comes down to it I have realised in this life that if you look closely enough, nothing really matters, anyone can see. Nothing really matters to me.
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:41, closed)
...any way the wind
blows...


(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:41, closed)
yay
This is probably the first time I didn't take until right at the end to get it - second paragraph this time. What's sad is, feeling smart about that is probably the highlight of my day...
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 10:12, closed)
Same
I have to admit, I do feel smug.
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 2:54, closed)
*headdesks*
spimf, you utter twat! had me most of the way through there
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:44, closed)
and not for the first time
or last

:D
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:48, closed)
pfff
you saucy flirt!
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:53, closed)
moi?
*does innocent face*
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:54, closed)
you can't do innocent
not in that mac
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 0:04, closed)
i'll have you know thats a WHORE-TEX® arctic wind deflector 'gilet'
*flounces*
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 0:11, closed)
ooo, get you!
a perv in designer gear is still a perv, just a well-dressed one
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 0:14, closed)
by definition
partially dressed
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 0:17, closed)
yes, but which part?
you haven't got an egg cosy on your cock again, have you?
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 0:32, closed)
TEA cosy thank you
(bloody snug fit too)
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 2:08, closed)

I can only assume that you did the Fandango at some point.
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:47, closed)
well i did see a little silhouette of a man
*moshes*
(, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:49, closed)
i was scrolling up
So I knew it was you, but I still had to reread the last two lines.

And facepalmed.
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 0:28, closed)
i shee my reputation preshedes me

(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 2:07, closed)
You're little better than Ice-T.
Or any those of rap sadists.
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 2:49, closed)
hahaha oh dear
you almost had me but the start of the second paragraph gave it away
(, Mon 30 Aug 2010, 8:07, closed)
OH YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!


*click*
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 0:32, closed)
I twigged at your 'mother' and 'throwing your life away' bit..
Then skipped up to the 'messing about with the legal system' and that confirmed your genius.

Well done sir
*click*

EDIT: By the way, was'nt there some kind of long discussion with regards to what this song is really about?, or was the whole thing dismissed as nonsense created by Freddy whilst he was on another wild session?..
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:03, closed)
Hang on, isn't this a pearoast?

(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:47, closed)
did you expect a confession?

(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 22:39, closed)
Not at all
I just got it far too quickly, seemed odd.
(, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, closed)

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