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This is a question Corruption

I once had to grease a custom official's palm to get out of a foreign country, a wad of bank notes worth about 45p which went straight into his pocket. In fact, everybody on our flight had to, the thieving scrote. Talk to us about corrupt officials, or confess your own wrongdoing. We won't tell anyone.

Thanks to Ye of Little Faith for the suggestion

(, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 13:44)
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Back in the day "wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines "
My company was hired by a major eyeglass company, lets call it "Wolf and Furry Alien"...

They had a major problem with their "works" department;
essentially shops were costing twice a much as the industry level, taking twice as long to build and were shoddy monstrosities.
We had no idea why they had stuck so long with their contractor under these conditions.

Anyhows, my boss signed on the doted line and I was hired.
I was dispatched to work in their head offices in err, Lutecia.
What I fond there was incompetence beyond belief, butt protecting of the level only a Westboro Baptist in a gay nude bubble bath party would contemplate.
To compound this, everybody had made it a professional level sport to have their finger in every minute little thing to be able to prance about their success when things worked and point fingers when it did not.

Needless to say after a week I negotiated to only have two people in the whole firm to be even allowed to talk to me in the corridors, much less ENTER my office.

This is when I learned that the company was run by the secretaries and assistants.
The MBA's were basically peacocks prancing on the corridor carpet.
But that's another story.

"wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines "

Two years later, we had gotten the costs down by a whopping 70%, shops openings had gone from 10/15 a year to the 40/70 range.
They were pretty, well made, on time, and outsold the older ones by a very large margin (nearly 2/1).

But alass, on day, the big honcho (with more than 500 MILLION Euros to his name, tax paid, in err, can't tell you more) calls my boss over.

He wants cash, in a briefcase, in this office, lots of it, next week.

My boss then proceeds to tell Honcho that's it's not possible.
The reason we could do such great prices is very very tight accounting and relieving that of a 6 figure sum would be highly visible and land him in jail.

No, sell your car, your kids, your house, I wants cash, in a briefcase, in this office, lots of it, next week replied Honcho.

Bos says no.

We get kicked out on the spot.

Have to sue to get our fees paid (took 3 years).

And Honcho hires back the Daftey and Wafty firm from the beginning of the story.
Probably not for their competence,
But for their ability to kick briefcases under tables with a leaden foot.
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 8:32, 7 replies)
If the first lot were losing the company so much money, how could they afford the whole briefcase thing?

(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 8:38, closed)
That's the crazy thing
Totally illogical.
Pocket money more important than profits? Raises shoulders...
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 22:52, closed)
I want to know what the hell is an eyeglass firm. Opticians, lenses, frames, the whole lot?

(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 8:54, closed)
I took it to mean
"manufacturer of glass eyes"
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 9:31, closed)
It is some awful American expression that I do not understand.

(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 10:09, closed)
It's like a superman,
but for the eyelids.
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 23:01, closed)
It makes even less sense after that.

(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 9:33, closed)

Needs more sensibility?
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 23:01, closed)
Get him that briefcase full of money,
and he'll tell you what it was really all about.
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 10:10, closed)
No need for that
Just want to avoid keywords.
The bastards are litigious as hell.
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 22:54, closed)
a dullfuck says whut?

(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 11:27, closed)
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 22:56, closed)
The boss guy,
Was his name Darth?

Anyone got the faintest clue what any of that was about?
(, Fri 4 Jul 2014, 12:40, closed)

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