This is excellent!

A flat statement about the "feel" of condoms suddenly has me pegged as a hedonistic ne'er do well who doesn't use em..Condoms to me are by definition a useless gadget..I enjoyed the one about the bloke with penile warts and Chlamydia..serves him right for fucking a walking Petri dish.
(frightfullybored, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:18, 4 replies)

For the record,
that's not how it lead me to peg you (oh christ, that's a grim image).

I now just have you down as lacking any wit or originality.

Hope that clears things up.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:32, closed)

"Condoms.. Yeah I know they stop AIDS and babies etc"
followed by

"Condoms to me are by definition a useless gadget"

So, er ... are we to take it that you actively WANT AIDS and babies?

As for your commentary on the guy being served right "for fucking a walking Petri dish" do share the means by which you extract the truthful sexual history of each of the people you sleep with.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:34, closed)

well if yer in doubt, bag it before you shag it chum..
(frightfullybored, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:45, closed)

Game over, man.
Game over.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 18:00, closed)

bag it with what?
one of those crap, pointless condoms?

boy, you're a genius at this aren't you?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:44, closed)

don't worry though
you've dealt with the whole thing brilliantly.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:38, closed)

Well first off it's not really a "flat statement", it's an analogy
Not only that, it's an analogy that's so tired, laboured and hoary that I remember it being used as a vox pops on That's Life! twenty-odd years ago.

Not only that, but it's a fucking stupid analogy in the first place, because unless your socks differ largely in construction to mine, they're not skin-tight and waterproof. Mine are in fact rather porous, and allow the water through them, meaning that if I were to get in the bath with my socks on, my feet would get wet. As getting your feet wet is one of the expected outcomes of the whole bathing process, it doesn't really detract from the experience. Imagine if you were in the bath and the flannel came to rest on one of your feet - it would more or less be like that. Now those verucca socks that scabby kids at school had to wear before they got in the swimming pool, that might be a better analogy. Because they're, y'know, made of rubber and intended to prevent the spread of disease and all. Or wearing marigolds to do the washing up. Or surgeons who wear those skin-tight rubber gloves to prevent infection when they're performing a triple bypass. I bet they hate the "feel" of those too, eh?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:26, closed)