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This is a question Crap Gadgets

We wanted a monkey butler and bought one off eBay. Imagine our surprise when we found it was just an ordinary monkey with rabies. Worse: It had no butler training at all. Tell us about your duff technology purchases.

Thanks to Moonbadger for the suggestion

(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:51)
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This question is now closed.

I'm quite partial to a mediaevel style drinking session.
So I bought a mead beaker.

It's shit. I only used it once and now it's gathering dust next to my bread maker.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:32, 3 replies)
Or 'William Shakespeare's English Teacher' he's more commonly known.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:26, 8 replies)
I was once given a bread-maker-maker...
I used it once to make one bread-maker, then I put it in my cupboard and never used it again. I mean, a freshly-made bread-maker is a thing of wonder, but by the time you've measured out and put in all the raw metal, heating elements, wire, electric motors, etc. you wonder if it would have been easier to just build your own bread-maker from scratch.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:09, 1 reply)
a bairdmaker
it makes scottish men who then go on to make televisions for you. takes a while though.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)
I was actually only joking when I suggested this, you know.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)
Sliced bread.
Why is it hailed as a great invention? It takes all of five seconds to cut a couple of slices of bread.
Don't get me started on bread-slicers! Giving one to me is like giving Eric Clapton a Guitar Hero controller!
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)
My job is my breadmaker.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:54, 3 replies)
...should I get a breadmaker or not then?

Chickenlady owns a cupcake maker, which is a lot like a breadmaker but with cupcake sized cutouts in it. It's very nice.

As you all were.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:45, 3 replies)
A breakmaker maker
They herd I liked making bread, so they put a breakmaker in my breadmaker so I could make bread while I made breadmakers.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)
Fuck all to do with breadmakers
I had a VCR that was programmable to the extent that you could set the start time for a program, but not the end time or record duration.

Once the timer had sent it's magic start signal you were recording, and you were commited to recording everything on the tape from the designated start point until, well, that was the problem.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it reached the end of the tape and stopped there, but rather than stopping the recording session, the VCR would rewind the bastard tape to the start and then continue recording from the start until human interaction stopped the process.

There was nothing more irritating than setting it to record a late night film that you really didn't want to stay up for, only to find that the whole tape was filled full of ceefax transmissions and 45 minutes of pre-school childrens television.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:38, 2 replies)
I love lovely buttery butter but I hate ripping holes in my bread so this looked perfect. www.alfille.co.uk/

It wasn't.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:28, 9 replies)
Soda Stream
One of the new ones with chrome panelling. I bought it before they even started advertising them because I am just that cool. AND I use the damn thing, almost every week.

I suppose I'm posting this because soda streams are perceived to be the ultimate use once and never again gadgets, but I actually make carbonated drinks all the time.

Just don't ever try to make fizzy milk...
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:12, 2 replies)
Not thought it through
Way back in the anals of time, when VCRs were new and wonderous things, there was great confusion upon the land. Basically, no-one had the foggiest idea how to set the damn things up (which is why 74% of them always showed the flashing "8888", and why your dad managed to miss the end of the match and erase mum's Coronation Street).

Philips, purveyors of the little-remembered third system -- not VHS, not Betamax, but Video 2000 -- came up with a great idea to help baffled owners get to grips with their huge, complicated and expensive new VCR. So the Crap Gadget I'm referring to isn't the VCR itself, but this:

They came with a pre-recorded tape which showed you how to connect it up and use it.

It's perhaps not surprising that Video 2000 was the first format to die.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:10, 3 replies)
I have a bread maker
I can make bread, pasta, jam, cake and you know what? I often do. Sew a button on that fucker!
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:00, 2 replies)
Recently sold one of these:

It's an aircraft tyre bead breaker.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:58, Reply)
I was given a beardmaker. It was shit.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
I AM a bread-maker.
True story.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, 3 replies)
I was given 2 breadmakers
do I win a prize?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:31, 2 replies)
The crappiest gadget of all....
The fixed gear bike!

Why undo nearly 200 hundred years of technical advancements to basically then ride a glorified Victorian bicycle.

Gears and brakes were invented for a reason!!!
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:30, 20 replies)
a Large Hadron Collider
Only used it once. It's been sitting at the bottom of my wardrobe ever since.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:28, 2 replies)
I once bought this quality widescreen telly only to have it start spewing out lizards the instant I switched it on.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:24, 10 replies)
i like breads

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:21, 2 replies)
I use my breadmaker all the time...
Well, I say 'I', but I mean my cat - it sits on the worktop (the breadmaker that is), and is the same height as the windowsill, so the fat bastard cat can sprawl in the sunshine without his fat arse hanging over the edge.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)
one of my ex's dads made the best bread ever
without the aid of a bread bin. fuck bread bins
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I launched a breakfast-maker this morning.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I used my breadmaker this morning

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:03, 2 replies)
I like Carla Lane

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:01, 3 replies)
My breadmaker works perfectly each and every single time I want a loaf of bread.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I don't have a bread making machine.
I employ my own personal baker.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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