My wallet-stealing bits of tat
Ohhhh....where do I begin? Not in any sort of chronological order because my brane doesn't work like that....

Let's start with the PalmPilot. I know that sounds like a Wanking Machine (thank you Brian Blessed) but it was the iPad of it's day. It had a calender and 'phonebook and, well, everything. Actually, just a calender and a 'phonebook. However, you could download really rubbish applications from the interweb and install them from my Pentium 75 powered laptop from Time Computers that cost £1500 (I had an internet connection via my Ericsson SH888 (see: www.oocities.org/florin_felix/news/archive/jan1999.htm for more details). The best app was the TimeClock! Since I was a contractor and paid by the minute, time spent working was important and this little app allowed me to put in my hourly rate and press a button to record when I started and stopped work. It also had a real-time display so I could watch the pennies roll in. I loved going for a nice dump and just looking at the screen.

Three-second-kettle. This sounds like a genius idea and it actually is. A kettle that makes a cup of boiling water in three seconds is brilliant. Not so brilliant is the fact that it makes the sound of a tractor and is loud enough to wake up the entire neighborhood. Go here for a demo (please note that this is the deluxe verion; I bought the shit one): www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTJjiXtnDMw

Sony Walkman. Or actually a rather cheap and nasty Taiwanese copy of one that was almost the size of a housebrick and weighed roughly about the same. I took it to Spain in 1981-ish when Spanish holidays were something a bit more rare than they are now. All through the flight the pilot kept on speaking to us about not using electronic equipment since it was interfering with his radio signal. Once we landed I took the cassette player out of my bag and realised it was slowly going cliiiiccckk, clliiiiccckkk due to the fact that it'd got to the end of the tape and was trying to 'auto-stop' while the play button had got stuck down. Still, no-one died.

Infra-red headphones. Yes, I could walk about without wires, listening to my music wherever I went! No. If I turned my head more than 25 degrees or so the signal got cut off so I ended up sitting stock-still on the sofa looking like a frozen mannequin. My girlfriend did ask me why I didn't just use normal headphones but I didn't like to admit I'd spent £125 on something that was utter crap.

Samsung B7330. A mobile 'phone but with many flaws. One of which is the vibrate function; when it rings, it vibrates. Pretty standard stuff you say but it doesn't stop vibrating. Until the battery runs out. Believe me, it hurts after an important ten minute call to a customer. It also sometimes doesn't ring and lets you know you're being called by popping up a message 15 minutes later to tell you that you have a missed call.

There are many, many more bits of crap that I've bought over the years so may edit this post later.
( Fr_Jerry_McGwier looked over both shoulders at, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 14:50, 1 reply)

heh heh you said 'brane'

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 20:34, closed)