I think im slowly gaining through the "crunch"
Im 23 (1st time poster long time reader) and moved back home about a year ago, so far my overheads are minimal and my job is secure. I work for a law firm, so the more problems every other business experiences the more business we get.... My other half works in insolvency so the more people go bankrupt the more work she does... Ive recently discovered that the credit crunch is affecting sales within a different devision of the company, its affected it so much that my mistress had to pay £300 for the exec suite in a 5* hotel rather than take it out of expenses... Oh the credit crunch, how it makes affairs more expensive.... (the me benfiting is because she pays for the room as her salary is quadruple mine)


On a side note, I dont pay gas, I dont pay electric, I dont pay water or rent... I just get pay rises and job hop gaining 25% per new posting, the credit crunch is forcing me to lie to perspective employers about my current salary so I gain a nice golden handshake in my first pay cheque.

Ive recently found that in the period of recession I have become somewhat of a rare comodity, my work skill set as versatile as it is not only makes me the object of many companys attention but also forces my employers hand into renogiating me salary rather than risk losing me to competitors...

So better salary, fucking the head of european sales in 5* hotels free of charge and generally having a responsibility free life.... god bless the credit crunch


I do have one gripe tho, I have only recently started working in the big city so the jump from lunch feasts for £3.00 at home to sub standard and minimalistic offerings for £7+ for the same meal have somewhat thrown me out a bit... God damn London... Making it worse I started working here when people used the credit crunch as a gimmic, so I would be hunting for a good eatery and attracted by the sign reading "Credit Crunch Lunch" only to discover its 3 squid rings and a tiny bit of salad for £7.50.... I can take the mrs out for happy meal 3 nights a week for that....
(zikki Is quickly making enemies, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:15, 36 replies)

Hmmm...
I think my one-word review of this post is going to have to be "Smug".
( Cawl, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:25, closed)

Credit crunch lunch
That's Londonspeak for

"This restaurant is short of money, so we're going to bend you over, fuck you up the arse with no lube whatsoever and then insult you with a lettuce leaf with a sprinking of Monster Munch in return for an extortionate amount of money. Service charge is mandatory 12.5%"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:31, closed)

Could be worse...
...could be Space Raiders instead of Monster Munch.
( monkeybananaraffle, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:24, closed)

NO!
Space Raiders are the best.
Monster Munch is rubbish.
( Cawl, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:09, closed)

Can I add a word?
"smug wanker"

_{... ooh, we could turn this into a game!}
(Penguins_Made_Me_Do_It is a dolt ... and she don't care, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:35, closed)

"smug wanker cock-end"?
I kinda like this game.
( Cawl, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:37, closed)

...
"moronic smug wanker"
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:38, closed)

Haha!
Too slow again :p
( Cawl, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:38, closed)

bah!

( scoshi pretending to diet since, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:39, closed)

Smug CuntCock?
Not sure though...

I just thought prick
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:41, closed)

Hmmm...
So, is it just me, but I kinda want this guy to lose his job.

The bitter taste of justice.
( Cawl, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:41, closed)

^^
Seconded...

Fuckwit (Not you KAOL)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:08, closed)

Thirded
I thought I'd check the replies to make sure someone'd called him a smug cunt.

Why did I ever doubt you, b3ta?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:46, closed)

...
...I imagine that croissant for breakfast on the roof terrace tastes even sweeter.

edit:curses! too slow!
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:36, closed)

I like yours though ;-)
let's hope his syphillitic knob drops off
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:48, closed)

Ahem
"perspective employers"? While I don't doubt that someone who earns a lot of money in the law could be that illiterate, it does make me sad.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:55, closed)

Not to mention...

‘renogiating me salary’

excuse me?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 28 Jan 2009, 14:59, closed)

Ah Reno...
The most boring city in America.
( Cawl, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:00, closed)

long time reader
and you didn't realise you were going to get face raped for acting like such a massive prick and gloating about it?

Don't worry, hearing everyone calling you a massive cock gobbling wanker might just help you understand those mumbled things you keep hearing behind your back. It also might soften the blow for you when your 'other half' (other half of your humanity, perhaps?) leaves you, having, one hopes, managed to out you as the cunt you are to your 'mistress'.

Just a thought. Oh... it's only jealousy; I just wish someone was taking ME out for three happy meals a week...
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:15, closed)

.
You still live at home though. Murderer.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:19, closed)

Im going for, SmugCuntTwatFuckingArseBiscuitEatingCockdBreathKnobCheeseMunchingNonce
Im so glad my refreshing sense of humour has been so gladly received... lol

I work in Law didnt say I was a solicitor.

I thank you for your kind words and welcoming my first post, this was however rather tongue in cheek, but I appreciate the avid flaming !!!

Roll out the coissants...
(zikki Is quickly making enemies, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:24, closed)

that was meant to be funny?
I'm not sure which is worse, you being a smug twat or you thinking that was funny
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:28, closed)

On behalf of the normal, decent, human
residents of London, I'd like to apologise for this display of utter utter smarmy smugness... We're not all like that... And those who are, well, its pretty easy to slip on the tube platform, if you catch my drift.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:35, closed)

Im just gutted
I missed all the good question of the weeks so hoping that some of my more interesting stories can make it into the binary backbone of humanity....
(zikki Is quickly making enemies, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:37, closed)

U-Turn???
I think it may be so!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 15:37, closed)

Now now...
dont be too hasty... I was well up for an old fashioned lynching. Cant move in London for twattage like this... God, if only I could lay my hands on a rifle.... or a fucking big shovel.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:07, closed)

Hey...
I didn't say to let the cunt off :)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:15, closed)

Nah,
in all fairness you didn't... These twunts just get my back up. I might be on the news soon. I am one smug cunt away from going on a rampage...
( SpankyHanky, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:20, closed)

Before you
take him out ask if he knows a good defence solicitor...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:21, closed)

Dont think I'd go to prison
I'd probably be given a great big sparkly medal which plays the national anthem...
( SpankyHanky, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:28, closed)

I have alot of work to do
I think it will take a couple of more serious posts on better QOTW to redeem myself, im not actually as smug as u think... and alot of that is exagerated bollocks, but fuck u who eating coisants and who got the tescos own brand toast for breakfast?

I hate defence lawyers, everytime they win I lost money....

Why couldnt we have the cougars, run in with police or drug topics... ones of masterfully proud of...
(zikki Is quickly making enemies, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 16:58, closed)

Joker...
Your English wouldn't get you a job in Subway - let alone a law firm.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 17:32, closed)

Mmm breakfast
Tesco sell toast now? I've always been buying bread and toasting it myself - now I do feel like a twat.
(Penguins_Made_Me_Do_It is a dolt ... and she don't care, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 18:32, closed)

I was going to say
Aldi (our version of tescos) don't sell toast here! We have to toast it ourselves.

Do you also have to dip your teabags into hot water or is your tea ready made there at tescos? We have to make it all from scratch - including boiling the water. Damn Aldi!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 2:49, closed)

Phew, thought I'd missed the chance to express exactly what I think of this post and indeed, postee
twunt
(furby, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 20:45, closed)

Zikki. Poppet
i'm almost 17. I live at home. I live out of town and rely heavily on my parents for lifts into work and to school.

But I still pay things like Car Registration and help out with bills and the grocery shopping.

Sorry but reading your first post has really got my back up because I think if you've moved BACK home, you should at least be helping your folks out for putting you up in their house after most likely spoon feeding you for the first 18 years of your life!

Move out and pay some damn bills and buy a freaking happy meal if you're that sore you can't get what you're used to. Living within your means doesn't mean you can't live independently!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 2:46, closed)