Baby, it's cold outside...
My ex used to work at the local Health Authority with a very nice woman called Nicola.

Nicola was very pretty, slim, and not without an impressive pair of norks (not as nice as my current missus, but nice all the same). Nicola also had a prediliction for wearing some figure hugging tops, which caused great distractions among the male members of the office.

The Health Authority HQ were, at the time, situated in the grounds of the local mental hospital (I'm not joking) and had some very nice grounds around which to walk. Nicola had decided to go for some fresh air at lunchtime.

It was, by all accounts, a fairly cool day. The combination of impressive norkage and tight top, together with the cold air outside, had combined to conspire against our heroine, for not long after she'd got back into the office, her colleague Ian went across to her to ask her something.

"Excuse me, Nippola..." he began, then realised just where he was looking and what he'd just said.

She turned red. He turned redder, and muttered something about "It doesn't matter, I'll ask 'X' instead", before fleeing the office in embarrassment.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Nov 2008, 20:05, 8 replies)

Bazmorningstar will pull you up for saying 'current missus' because it sounds like you are going to trade her in like a car or phone or something. I got my hand smacked yesterday for the same offence.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 20:19, closed)

Fair point
I was trying to distinguish that the missus I'm referring to is not my ex, but my future wife.

:-)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Nov 2008, 20:21, closed)

He will probably let you off with a minor rebuke then ;)
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 20:44, closed)

I've often thought
that women of such disposition should be deployed by police during riot situations as I can totally visualise a couple of hundred rioting blokes literally stopping dead with mouths gaping open to stare at the wonderful sight ;)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 10:22, closed)

Yes.
Haven't the Swedes or their Scandinavian brethren successfully brought down speeds in urban areas through the skilful deployment of topless blondes with "Slow Down" signs?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:51, closed)

^
Pfffffffft!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:39, closed)

!
*looks for passport*
(kitescreech still here, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:38, closed)

I'm guessing
the number of collisions has gone up but now they're all at 5mph.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 7:39, closed)