Reciprocate
Am I an arse because of the way I answer junk mail?
I open said mail for a credit-card, catalogue company, AN Other crap offer. I then take a sheet from my scrap paper pile (stuff that was printed on one side, a good few reams of which I accrued during my time at a local Comms company).

That sheet is then folded, stuffed in the pre-paid envelope and then mailed back to them.

I'd love to be there when someone in the 'new customers' dept. opens the envelopes and finds the agenda to a meeting I attended in May 2001, or the chords to Alphaville's 'Big in Japan'.

Just got one from Sky wanted me to spunk up £8.25 a month for a breakdown plan for the Sky+ box I received recently. If it dies after 12 months, I'll just call them up and say I want a new box, which I WILL get because otherwise I'll cancel my subscription.

£8.25 a month indeed.

Sky will be getting part of the walk-through for Bartolli's Hideout from Tomb Raider 2.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:04, 10 replies)

You should got to
the mailing preferences services website.

I signed up on that about 5 years ago and I've not had junk mail since.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:09, closed)

Same here
Back in the days when I did get junk mail though, I thought it would be a hoot to send all the return envelopes back with the wrong company's forms in.

However, my sheer indolence meant that I never actually did this.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:13, closed)

If your sky+ box does break down after 12 months
don't expect a new one for free. They wont feel threatened if you cancel your contract, and they wont be crying at not getting your £35 a month.
Your Sky+ box is bought outright when you take up the contact, its not leased like it is with some cable companies.
If you do cancel your Sky+ subscription, I'm sure sky will be more than happy to take from you another initial fee, where you will be basically buying another new sky+ box.
( turb0t, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:32, closed)

More fun with junk mail!
I like to take the literature from company A and mail it to company B in the prepaid envelope they always provide, and the other way round.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:40, closed)

^
I like to tape the prepaid envelope to large unfeasibly heavy boxes of old crap and then take them to the post office to send.

It warms the cockles of my heart.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:44, closed)

@Empress Bob
Um, yeah, that's what I was trying to get at - couldn't figure out how to put it as succinctly :)
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:17, closed)

But no one cares
I used to send out the junk mail for people (only way I could get to the job I wanted).

I'd go to the department that handled replies to find the assortment of sticks, porn, other letters, etc that had been sent through.

They laughed cos people thought they were clever and original, I laughed as it was a sight to see the strange things people sent and all in all no one cared.

When you've spent £200k sending out all those letters, someone posting back stuff for £1 really doesn't matter.

Enough genuine replies come back to make it worth it's while every time, even when less than 1% buy.
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:56, closed)

Excellent
work. Keep it up.
(YayLady is cold, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 13:39, closed)

MPS
Nice one Mrs Liveinabin, cheers. As an aside, on the site it says MPS registration lasts 5 yaers then expires, so you might want to renew.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 16:47, closed)

Sending crap back to junk mailers
Needs moar printouts of goatse, lemonparty, 2girls1cup etc.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:51, closed)