very near miss this morning
i was waiting to cross the a4 on the way to the tube, which for non-londoners and merkins is a very very busy 6 lane duel carriageway. at 7.30am in kensington, it's busy but still fast moving; people belt along there.

i was literally miles away at the pedestrian crossing, ipod on full blast, daydreaming about some rubbish or other. the guy in front of me started to cross, and i didn't think, just followed him.

suddenly even over the music, i became aware of a loud, angry honking, getting louder and angrier. in one split second, i realised the following:

(i) the guy in front of me had in fact just been running through a gap in the traffic. not ok if you are walking slowly, head in the clouds.

(ii) the red man was still very very red.

(iii) there was a huge white truck coming at me at about 40mph.

(iv) i was totally fucked.

fortunately, and most uniquely for that time in the morning, there was noone in the adjacent lane, and the driver was able to lurch into it and miss me by what felt like millimetres - the gust of air as he shot past me still nearly knocked me off my feet.

very very very stupid. ipods, daydreams and the a4 are not a good combination.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 10:49, 18 replies)

I am an avid fan of music and have about 50 gigs on my ipod.

However I can't bring myself to listen to it when walking to work or out jogging. The fear of even just cars going past or someone shouting something at me prohibits me from using it.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 10:53, closed)

Wow thats massive!
I tried to have a gig on an ipod but the band members all fell off.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 10:55, closed)

Did I say gigs? I meant nigs


/monday racism
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:05, closed)

Six lanes?
On a dual carriageway?

/pedantic
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:06, closed)

2 OF THEM ARE BUS LANES SO DON'T COUNT
DO NOT CONTRADICT ME AFTER A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. COSSET AND COMFORT ME AND TELL ME YOUR LIFE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THE SAME WITHOUT ME AND GENERALLY VALIDATE MY EXISTENCE VIA THE MEDIUM OF THE INTERNET.

or i will shout.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:19, closed)

.
*cossets*

*comforts*

*validates*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:22, closed)

thank you
i feel much better now, after that nasty online bullying by enzyme.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:26, closed)

*comforts*
'Swipe, do you really need to be told how much richer my life is for your presence?

*panders*
*fawns*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:50, closed)

your pandering skills
are honing nicely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 12:07, closed)

Practice makes perfect.
I spent the weekend pandering to a fawn, and fawning over a panda.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 12:15, closed)

I pawned a fanta
and fanned a pawn
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 12:20, closed)

Yup
Dual carriageways can have any number of lanes.

The dual bit refers to the fact that there are 2 distinct carriageways separated by a central reservation. The carriageways can have any number of lanes.

I've been on dual carriageways with only one lane in each direction. Likewise, I've been on single carriageways with 2 lanes in each direction.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:48, closed)

see, you learn something new every day
you should chat with abefroman, the dancing motorway guru of the midlands!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 12:06, closed)

Indeed
Which is why you should pay extra attention to the National Speed Limit signs if the rozzers are out on one of these roads... 2 lane single carriageway (4 lanes total) at national speed limit is 60, 1+ lane on a dual carriageway is 70 on a national speed limit...

It still frustrates me that people can't seem to learn this coming out of Edinburgh Airport... which is a national limit... 2 lane, dual carriageway... and they do 60! Grrr!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:38, closed)

i've been told for years, by various peoples
that sooner or later i'm due to be hit by a car/truck/bus/milk float due to my poor grasp of the green cross code. this is further exaggerated when i am drunk.

watch this space, i suppose.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 11:35, closed)

or not
if you do get hit, chances are you won't get to tell us
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:27, closed)

I'm pretty sure
The cars, lorrys, vans will go flying and I'll be fine. A bit like that bit in Hancock when he gets hit by the train.

Time will tell though, I suppose
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 16:18, closed)

This is why I have no ipod
or the mental capacity to daydream. Or the A4.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:21, closed)