DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?
a so-called mate once set me up with a colleague. he sounded ok by text. we arranged to meet and he was running early. i could see three possibilities all lined up against the wall. a grossly overweight guy who looked like a turd in a brown suit and shirt; an offensively ginger dood with a sk8rboi vibe; and a gimpy looking bloke in a hoodie. i hoped it was the gimp. and it was.

just as we were saying hello, it started to rain. we therefore dived into the nearest cafe before the hordes of scavenging tourists. it was a slightly odd looking place, but they had diet coke, so i was easily pleased. oddly enough, despite the downpour, nobody followed us inside. after about an hour of ok but underwhelming conversation, he excused himself to go to the toilet. i picked up the menu, and all became clear. we had landed in a bible bashing heavy christian cafe. i wondered uncomfortably if i had sworn at all (probably, let's fucking face it).

when he came back, i pointed it out to him. and i swear i saw the evangelical gleam light up his face from the inside. "i know! i thought it must be fate when you picked it!" he said excitedly. and proceeded to tell me at great length how he had found god at age 28 and how much he now loved being a christian. now, i firmly believe that everyone should be able to believe in what they want, but when it comes to dating, my personal preference is that i couldn't date anyone who was heavily religious. just as i was thinking this, and how christians always try to convert you, he clasped my hands and said beseechingly,

"I THINK I COULD REALLY LIKE YOU. BUT YOU DO BELIEVE IN GOD, DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU?"

i told him i didn't.

it seemed like the most humane thing to do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 16:26, 11 replies)

your going to hell

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 17:10, closed)

Did you mean "collage" or "college"?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 17:25, closed)

I can certainly believe that she's been through an entire college

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 18:20, closed)

and I don't think that's flour and water paste that she's used for the collage
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 18:21, closed)

i have no idea what you mean

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 18:24, closed)

He means semen.

(SlantedScience, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 0:28, closed)

she's been through an entire navy too?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 0:40, closed)

If he was that evangelical, would he believe in fate?
Grace, perhaps, if he was a Prod; but fate's a bit much.

I realise I'm missing the point of the story here.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 18:20, closed)

you could probably have dated him quite happily, and examined all these things
i was more interested in examining the inside of a voddie bottle, after that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 18:23, closed)

Don't be silly.
It's months since I left the house or, like, spoke to anyone. Even a debate on theology isn't going to shift me.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 22:24, closed)

God believes in you, though.
At least until he reads this website.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 6 Sep 2014, 18:31, closed)

And if God doesnt, Satan certainly will.
Win/win, if you ask me.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 11:45, closed)

i'd quite like it if you'd shut the fuck up, now.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 12:38, closed)