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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Drunken fry-up
Mate of mine gets home from the pub and has the munchies. Opening the fridge door to see what he can find, he sees a couple of eggs (already cracked open) sitting in a little bowl.

Perfect, sticks the frying pan on the gas ring, heats up the oil and pops them in thinking how good they will be on a butty with some red sauce.

10 minutes later, they still aren't cooking so he turns the heat up. another ten minutes and still nothing.

He loses interest and toddles off to bed with an empty tummy.

His wife wakes hime up in the morning to ask him if he knew why there were 2 apricots in their juices sitting in the frying pan next to extra thick white bread smeared all over with tommy ketchup.

Explains why they didnt cook properly.
(, Sun 18 Nov 2007, 20:24, 4 replies)
I enjoyed that

(, Sun 18 Nov 2007, 20:26, closed)
explains why I keep finding bottles of bleach in my fridge
(, Sun 18 Nov 2007, 22:01, closed)
An oldie but a goodie
Thank you Mike Harding :)
(, Sun 18 Nov 2007, 23:00, closed)
Mike harding ?
I thouhgt it was Jasper Carrott ?
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:09, closed)

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