Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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No toilet paper O_oWe've all done it - you reach for the toilet roll only to find a sheet of frayed paper.
So, one time when I was small (it was when I lived in Devon so I was less than 10), it happened to me, only there was no paper at all left. And none to be found anywhere in the room.
So I wiped my arse on the cardboard tube.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 8:31, 6 replies)
I think I posted it here beforebut that happened to me in the swimming pool changing room here one day. I had to wait until there was no sound from the showers, then emerged from the cubicle naked with swimming shorts in hand. I then stood under the shower and washed my shitty ringpiece. There were little bits of residue washing down the drain. Thankfully, nobody else appeared as I was doing this, or else they might have stood in it or something.
Got my arse nice and clean though! Better than paper, in fact.
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 9:01,
closed)
I can relate, sir.It is not the most pleasurable experience... but, any cardboard tube in a storm.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 9:38, closed)
Oh god,I've done that, new years day years ago in a squat in Salford. It chafed something rotten IIRC.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 10:58, closed)
I've been where you were brotherIt's not even remotely effective unless you're trying to scoop an excess, yet still seems to make a bizarre type of sense...
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Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 11:34,
closed)
Heh, I'm so glad it wasn't just me.Although I'm not particularly ashamed, it always makes me giggle when I think about it \o/
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 11:54, closed)
Lacking TP is always badI've used a random brown bag snagged on a cactus, a sock, a napkin, a page of my homework, a couple of pages from a library book (what else are those blank pages at the end good for?), and various other non-TP items. I once wrote on the dog "send TP" with a sharpie and booted her out the door. Unfortunately the message took longer to wash off than I had anticipated.
(, Sat 17 Nov 2007, 2:53, closed)
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