Computer DIY anyone?
I've got next to no computer skills, so when I turned on my PC last night at home, I was rather upset when it didn't let me logon...

I'm running Windows Vista Business.

It turns on as normal, gets to the user account selection.

If you then click on "Kaol", it says to enter password, as normal, but when you do and press "logon", you get a message saying:

"the User Profile Service failed the logon. User profile cannot be loaded."

You can go on the guest account as normal, which is the really odd part.

Hoepfully one of you beautiful B3tards will have the answer...

Sorry for the QOTW abuse, but it is a Thursday...
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 10:38, 39 replies)

I would say
buy a Mac, but I'd start a war, so I won't.

_{Buy a Mac}
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 10:40, closed)

I will be
Buying a Mac soon-ish, but they don't come cheap, so I'm saving my hard-earned pennies :)
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 10:41, closed)

I don't really have a problem with macs
If you want something that is straight forward to use from the start, and especially if you want to record music onto your 'puter, then they serve an important role.

But if you want to play any sort of decent games, or be able to upgrade bits and bobs as and when you fancy, then they aren't that much cop.

And if you have the patience and a bit of spare cash, PCs can be just as good at recording music (if a little temperamental at time, but I think that's more my cheap ass Behringer sound card and insistence of using my laptop to play Medieval II at any given opportunity)
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:06, closed)

Wait
Wait up on the system restore thing, i had this a copla weeks ago, gimme an hour and ill remember how i fixed it dude.
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:11, closed)

remembered!
Log on with another administrator profile.
Execute regedit
Goto Local Machine\Software\Microsoft\Windows NT\Profile List
Go through the profiles to find yours. You can use the ProfileImagePath to
identify your profile
The key to your profile may have a ".bak" appended to it. There will be
another identical key except for the bak. Rename this key and rename yours
removing the ".bak"
Change the State property to 0.

Log off and retry logging on with your profile. It should now work
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:13, closed)

^^ Sounds pretty comprehensive
But I don't have another Admin. account :(
Just got "Kaol" and "Guest".
Is it at this point I should fall on my own sword?
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:16, closed)

I'd love to help
but I only do Linux, Unix or MacOSX. Sorry.

My diagnosis is an advanced case of Windows poisoning. Try applying bleach.

Buy a mac
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:22, closed)

Since we are totally off topic
and asking for computer advice (and, since it's Thursday, completely in the buff), I have a question.

How do you do the small writing thing and the crossing out thing in replies or posts.

Please note that I'm not massively geeky with computers, so please keep answers simple.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:31, closed)

@ Al
www.b3ta.com/features/faq/#tags
Then click on the "What other HTML tags work on the board?"
Hope this helps!
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:33, closed)

^
for small text just type
< small > then your word, then < /small >
(remove the spaces before and after the word small)

Same for the strikethrough, but instead of 'small', type 's'.


Edit: bollix, it doesn't like that. hang on.
Edit2: gawd bless HTML coded character sets!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:34, closed)

@al
'lo mate, check the faq, there's all sorts of fancy stuff in there.
I just tried typing an explanation, but it filled with underlinings and strikethroughs!

althegeordie is gay happy. See?

@CHCB, I like your shirt, can I have one please?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:35, closed)

Is it really gay
if it's just for you Bert?

And the monkeys of course

the other half doesn't understand my monkeys
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:38, closed)

yeah Sexmonkey
Just go buy one from the b3ta shop. They're lovely. I'm going to wear mine out to the pub tonight and see if anyone recognises it. Last week one of my mates overheard people in the street near my house talking about b3ta and since then I've been on alert for likely-looking suspects.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:40, closed)

I cancelled the gay, al
I know you only have an attraction toward monkeys and goats now. *sobs*

@CHCB Likely suspects? -in what ways would you be able to spot a b3tard?
I will definitely buy the furtive T-shirt, I loikes that one.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:42, closed)

I like the
Fact that I'm a mystery man on here though, I can't risk people I know knowing who I am...

*puts on dark glasses*

Especially if Burt's Soap Opera QOTW is chosen, then I really need the incognito points :|
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:43, closed)

Er, excuse me CHCB
Why are you wearing a t-shirt on Naked Thursday?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:43, closed)

^
*removes t-shirt*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:44, closed)

There's a b3ta shop?
but where? And I'm not sure happy about our frigginmessiahwhoopin'hoopin'paintstripper admitting to not being naked on a Thursday.

EDIT - phew, that's better.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:45, closed)

*waits*
...
Female nudity, is there any stronger bait?
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:46, closed)

With you on that one Kaol
I shall never reveal my secret identity, so that I may post as many amusing stories as possible about the many interesting characters I've encountered on my fascinating wander through the garden of life.
Or not.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:47, closed)

b3ta shop
www2.printshop.co.uk/b3ta.html

I'm trying to maintain anonymity as well, at least as far as work colleagues go. (I mean, it's difficult to maintain anonymity when you've actually met b3tards in real life.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:47, closed)

'Tis easy
There's two probable causes but this should fix it:

Turn on your computer then hold press F8 You will see on the screen " Repair Your Computer" then Enter. Don't choose Administrator if you don't know the password use your own administrator user name and your password,. then press Enter.

On the screen

You'll see on the first Category "Startup Repair" and the second one "System Restore"

click on Startup Repair then when Your done doing it restart your computer. if doesn't work try the second one System Restore then click on it. again when your done Restart your computer.


If that doesn't work, Gaz me and I'll tell you another way

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:48, closed)

Mr. Legless
That's fantastic, thanks!
I'll give that a shot when I get home.
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 11:52, closed)

t-shirts
Bert -
I have the "furtive" t-shirt. It's ace. I wear it to Tesco in the hope the someone'll recognise it and strike up a conversation.


They never do.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:16, closed)

Re: secret/real identities:
I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:19, closed)

@Enzyme
maybe they recognise it, work out who you are, and hide in the cheese aisle so they don't have to talk to you?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:23, closed)

@Enzyme
that'll be because B3tards don't shop in Tescos, we shop in M&S, or maybe sainsburys at worst.
Going to Tesco is good for the self esteem though, last time I went to one it was full of the ugliest people imaginable.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:24, closed)

^ :(
I must be less prettierer than you Sexmonkey - I need to go to Asda for that kind of ego-boost.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:25, closed)

^
Lidl for me :-(
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:25, closed)

Well
I am very handsome.

All the goats say so.
At least, that's what I think they mean by 'Baa!'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:28, closed)

^ no
they're just kidding.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:31, closed)

^^
oh good grief
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:33, closed)

Yehbut
For real walking dead, you need to go to Asda.

B3TAn moment - my first attempt at typing this was "Wanking Dead". There has to be a porn movie in that, surely?
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:37, closed)

The Wanking Dead?
I did masturbate onto a corpse once... But that's another story for another day.
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:43, closed)

*Spangs CHCB with a frying pan*
You just wouldn't let it lie, would you?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:43, closed)

*checks list of previous QOTWs*
No, no previous ones on necrophilia, so I guess the opportunity for that story's yet to come!
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:47, closed)

*disclaimer*
That may or may not have actually happened.
( Cawl, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 12:50, closed)

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Legless, youd have thought wouldnt ya! Me too! Doesnt work, or in the very least it didnt for me a few times.

Ok Kaol, to get the administrator logon:

This is how you navigate to the Local Security Policy.
Firstly click on Vista's Start orb, then in the Start Search dialog box type: secpol.msc. Note: you must include the .msc extension.

Secondly drill down to Local Policy, Security Options

Thirdly double click Accounts: Administrator account status, and select enable

Right now the admin logon should be available to ya from the main logon screen and my previous thingy magiggy should be ok now, the admin logon password is setup when ou set vista up, so if you remmber it your quids in. Other wise there are some easy ways to fix this so gaz me, (incidentally does anyone know Why Gaz??????)
This was all caused by a stupid effin windows update a few months back and UAC stopping Windows OWN update from running proper! No wonder the rest of us are screwed,
Im an IT Support Manager and I DETEST windowsd so the fellas on about mac and linux??? They am damn right!
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 13:28, closed)

^
Can I be a fella in a girly way?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 13:31, closed)