Due to my penchant for the odd pint I've witnessed, and been in, quite a few bar room brawls. But my favourite happened in Redcar, North East England.

Redcar is rough but, the place I was based, Eston, is even rougher. It's the sort of area where anyone with more than one ear is a cissy.

Anyways. I was staying directly across the road from where I worked in. It was a pub. A *really* rough pub and the downstairs bar was populated with some of the finest knuckle-draggers you've ever seen.

But I can fit into almost any environment and I was soon a regular and could be found propping up the bar after work. I got to know a lot of the local meatheads and they soon found out I was a computer consultant and they soon found out I'd fix their systems for beer. So it soon became a regular fixture, me at one of the tables happily de-porning systems ( me missus will kill me...), removing virii and spyware and installing cracked software for them.

So all was well with the world. Then, one night , there was a pool match with another pub and it kicked off. A massive bar-room brawl with cues being used as clubs, chairs and tables flying across the room (often accompanied by flying teeth) and fists, boots and heads being used with abandon.

The bar staff just scuttled to the safety of the lounge bar and soon I was the only spectator - literally, everyone in the bar was involved in the fight. Of course this couldn't last for long and a meathead, having dispatched his opponent, by throwing him through the toilet doors, came looking for his next victim. Me.

He saw me standing alone at the bar and started to run across the room towards me. I saw him and did my famed "deer in the headlights" impression and prepared to defend myself when a mighty roar came across the room.

"DON'T TOUCH THE GEEK!!!!"

It was the head hardman. The hardman's hardman and I'd fixed his machine for him several times and he didn't want anyone interfering in his free computer support.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:35, 40 replies)

I can't believe you'd steal a fabulous anecdote from the resident intellectual.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:41, closed)

If That's The Case
Then you should easily be able to find an example of a similar story, that predates mine, somewhere on the internet. I mean, according to you it's a well known anecdote.

Off you go sunshine.

Waits for weak excuse why Shambles can't find one.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:47, closed)

au contraire (look it up you illiterate)

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:11, closed)

Wanna Bet?
I was there, I wrote it so it makes it mine. If you can prove otherwise - go ahead you brainless gobshite
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:18, closed)

Still waiting.... Spunkbubble.
Come on Shambolic (I left out the Dr as it's a title you aspire to but will never achieve, you mental pygmy), prove me wrong. Give us a link to a story even vaguely similar to the one I wrote.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:20, closed)

t's A Myth
www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/mood-swings-on-pms-is-it-all-a-myth-20121221-2brjw.html

And many,many more articles support it.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:25, closed)

yeah, the literary mastermind who can't pluralise 'virus' correctly.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 21:35, closed)

To be fair, may have been deliberately misplude.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 7 Feb 2014, 22:23, closed)

Hah
I used to work in a place called Immingham, near Grimsby, which I thought was the worst place in the world, with the worst pubs.

I drank a couple of times a month with another northern fella and even he said the only place he'd been worse then Immingham was Redcar. Or perhaps Seaham.
( zacherynuk @echo off, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:43, closed)

In Grimsby, which is only a few miles from me,
They refer to it as Ming. In Grimsby FFS!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 7 Feb 2014, 22:25, closed)

the most memorable person who ever came from Immingham was Ian Huntley
speaks for itself really
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 22:38, closed)

Just as well because the residents can't.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 7 Feb 2014, 22:42, closed)

most folk east of Thorne and south of the Humber are savages who eat each other and bathe in the river
true story
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 22:48, closed)

Is there a particular message you're trying to convey via this plagiaristic trolling?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:21, closed)

Godlike Powers..
It's amazing how you can read a post and, in an instant, suss out whether it's a true story or not. Your criteria seems to be - if it's never happened to you it couldn't *possibly* have happened. So, most tales based around sex you automatically deem a lie. Figures.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:24, closed)

Not my criteria at all, personally.
I also couldn't care less whether or not a story's true provided it makes entertaining reading.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:26, closed)

If You're Going To Steal One Of My Tales
Don't try and pass it off as one of your own.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:29, closed)

Why don't you post a link to your original version of the story?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:30, closed)

Cease This Campaign Of Vicious Trolling Or I'll Be Writing To My Solicitors, The Sun, And The Daily Mail



Cheers
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 21:15, closed)

In crayon, no doubt.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 23:54, closed)

Oh Look, It's B3ta's J. Edgar Hoover, Trolling My Posts Yet Again






Cheers
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 23:23, closed)

Diddums.
Strange how in roughly ten pages of crying about other people using the term whilst happily deploying it yourself, you've never really wrapped your head around what "troll" actually means.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:25, closed)

Not The First Time It's Been Asked
Have a pea. Back from when I used to take the time to write for QOTW. Before the trolls made it not worth the effort.

b3ta.com/questions/shame/post44436

Cheers
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:30, closed)

What's Up AB?
Nobody paying you any attention?

Tell you what - ask your mum for some scribbling paper and stop annoying the grown-ups. There's a good lad....
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 20:25, closed)

Out Of All The Pompous Racists Who Had To Emigrate To Australia After Getting Laughed Out Of The North-East, He Was Definitely The Best



Cheers
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 21:08, closed)

This story happened to a friend of mine. He is the resident geek (although he actually does real work with computers) and has built up so much
"do you a favour, this time", the Richardsons and the Krays back in the day could not touch him for fear of reprisals.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 23:32, closed)

Accord-by-proxy!
Secondhand Accord-by-proxy, if the comments above are anything to go by.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Feb 2014, 10:51, closed)

this happened

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 3:26, closed)

it's a Legless story, of course it didn't happen.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:52, closed)

SOON

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 12:06, closed)