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This is a question Dodgy boozers

Just a vagabond writes, "I once had a guy in a pub shout completely out of the blue at me 'OI! BIG NOSE!' and then ask coyly 'Fancy a fight?'"

Tell us stories of the dodgy boozers you've been to, and what happened.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 12:32)
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Popping in to a nondescript village boozer near Northampton, we chanced upon the pub quiz. Eventually, the final question rang out; "What is the largest predator in the world?".

You're thinking Blue Whale, right*? Wrong. Apparently, it's a badger.

* Or your mum.
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 23:09, 34 replies)

Are you sure the question wasn't "What is the largest predator in the Wirral?"?
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 23:38, closed)
This reply should win QOTW

(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 23:46, closed)

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 9:44, closed)
Purple Aki.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:51, closed)
Blue whales are not predators.
Furthermore, they've never been seen on the Wirral. Neither has Northampton.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 0:15, closed)
At a guess, I'm going to go with great white shark
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:01, closed)
Orca? Naah!
Probably Sperm whale
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:02, closed)
Just googled*
The google answer IS Blue whale. However, as they eat Krill just by swimming through the shoals(?) I would doubt their predatory credentials.

*Yeah, like googling is any guarantee of veracity.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:07, closed)
BULLSHIT is it the Blue Whale.
Sperm Whale. Has to be.
Because it actually fucking predates.
Grazing on krill is just grazing. It's like calling a sheep a hunter for moving from one bit of grass to the next bit.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:49, closed)
It does involve stalking

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 8:06, closed)

Go outside and think about what you've done.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 8:15, closed)

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:01, closed)

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:44, closed)

Blue whale eats plankton so it's technically a predator. Largest predator of vertebrates must be the great white.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:48, closed)
Nope. Killer Whale.
Invertebrates would be Sperm Whale.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 1:50, closed)
Oh ok
I always thought the great white was bigger. Maybe that's down to watching Jaws 2 as a child.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:02, closed)

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:04, closed)

But I guess the sperm whale eats "proper" animals rather than little krill and that. So yeah.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:08, closed)
The blue whale eats invertebrates and is much bigger than the sperm whale. Although the sperm whale is theorised to hunt giant squid etc. Or am I missing something.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:04, closed)
Do cows 'predate' grass?
Yeah the blue whale eats krill, which ARE animal, but they don't actively try to avoid being eaten because they're really just animal plankton, so the term predation shouldn't really apply.
do you think I could use this as a reasonable 'not guilty' plea for cannibalising my fat neighbours? only i'm really hungry.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:09, closed)
Yeah go for it
And that massive single-organism fungus in North America (whatever it's called, I can't remember) predates whatever it eats (haven't the foggiest) so that one's the winner.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:16, closed)
Yeah, that's what I mean..
Fungi just break down decomposing stuff, plankton feeders just graze whatever they're swimming through. Turtles will even mistake the remains of a weather balloon for a jellyfish, and they're supposed to be smart enough to kung-fu stuff.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:53, closed)
You don't run a pub in the Midlands, by any chance?
The question-master went through a similar line of reasoning when queried. Blue Whales were dismissed as filter-feeders, whereupon bull Sperm Whales were suggested, and similarly discounted as "actually he meant land predators". Polar bears were discounted due to the fact that they occasionally lick lichen from rocks (?), which means they're not strictly 100% predatory. All the way down to badgers.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 8:14, closed)
Or there could be a badger you've not been told about
that's bigger than a polar bear.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 9:18, closed)

I reckon a giant badger could take a polar bear. We should scale down - set a regular badger against a koala* - and find out.

* I know.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:01, closed)
That'd be the bear minimum.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 13:49, closed)
the killer whale is pretty much the only creature that hunts and eats great whites

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:23, closed)

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:38, closed)
I reckon it was the one from the first movie. Arnie is 6'2 and he was still bigger

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 3:34, closed)
Good call.
You get the points, The LOVELY KNOWLEDGABLE Qumquat.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 4:28, closed)
I once got into a similar argument with a pub quiz host

The question: what was the first satellite of the Earth?
My answer: The Moon
Their answer: Sputnik

We ended up missing the prize by 1 point. Read a fucking dictionary, fuckwit!
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:27, closed)
Please tell me you headbutted him right in the nose?
These pub quiz organisers don't know shit.

Why doesn't it occur to them that since they didn't pay attention to teacher, and because subsequently they are now serving alcoholic beverages for minimum wage, that maybe they ought to shut the fuck up when corrected by someone better than them?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 11:04, closed)
When fully inflated a badger can hold all the water in an olympic sized swimming pool.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:39, closed)
You pleb.
I have a 44,000ltr, salt-water badger.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:49, closed)

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