& now for the creepy shit.
As I have said earlier - I lived in an old abandoned church on a farm in Africa.
My dog Sam slept with me.

1 night Sam wakes all of us going ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BAT-SHIT MENTAL. I let him out of my room and he headed straight to the kitchen (which used to be the altar). In there we had several tallboys with glass doors full of crockery.

All of the crockery was broken into small pieces yet the glass panels were completely intact. And Sam during this was still losing his shit despite me repeatedly telling him off - he was a very well trained dog who would obey commands instantly (once he was aware of them).

Never found an explanation. Don't really want to.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 10:37, 32 replies)

Look, when are you going to get to the point with all this Africa business?
Because I'm just waiting for the bit where you say "STOP. Frowing. Those BLOODY SPEARS. At me."
And for Ivor Emmanuel to sing Men Of Harlech.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 27 May 2012, 11:30, closed)

"I hear it rains down in Africa"
Trufax btw.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 11:48, closed)

I guess Lorraine's down in Africa

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 12:32, closed)

Here comes Lorraine.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 27 May 2012, 12:41, closed)

I saw you (and him) walking with Lorraine

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 12:43, closed)

I can't stand Lorraine

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 12:46, closed)

Have you ever seen Lorraine?

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 12:46, closed)

That's all pretty weak.
But there's nothing that a 100 men from Mars could ever do.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 12:49, closed)

& I wonder,
who'll stop Lorraine?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 12:53, closed)

Tell it to Lorraine.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 12:55, closed)

Lorraine's drops keep falling on my head.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 12:57, closed)

I'm only happy with Lorraine

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 13:02, closed)

"When"

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 13:03, closed)

Dunno, about 3ish?

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 13:04, closed)

I can see clearly now, Lorraine has gone...

(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Sun 27 May 2012, 19:52, closed)

clearly Deirdre
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 27 May 2012, 20:14, closed)

Lorraine moves eastwards in waves of succession, drawing lines of grey across the sky.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 May 2012, 10:00, closed)

I'm just singing in Lorraine.
Sorry - bedtime for me.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 13:02, closed)

Again.
Falling on my head like a mammary.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 12:52, closed)

And Lorraine came down.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 May 2012, 10:27, closed)

Whats's the resonant frequency of crockery?
Can dogs hear it?

Anyone?
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Sun 27 May 2012, 11:36, closed)

Probably a dog nightmare

( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Sun 27 May 2012, 17:24, closed)

It was probably god punishing you for having sex with your dog.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 May 2012, 9:47, closed)

Keep your
peccadilloes out of this, thank you.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 May 2012, 10:16, closed)

Hey, I've been clear for years, man. The therapy was a success.
You just stated it in your post.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 May 2012, 10:26, closed)

Despite your efforts with the ladies
"slept with me" can actually involve something other than sex (be it inter-species or not.)
Desperate much?

In case you weren't clear - my dog slept on the same bed as me. During the night, he mostly slept. On my bed. Where I was also sleeping.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 May 2012, 10:36, closed)

woah, tiger.
Clafiication: not needed.
You chilling out a teeny wee bit and acquiring a sense of humour: different matter.

Internet. Seriz bizness, remember.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 May 2012, 10:55, closed)

As AB would say -
"Ah, the Legless defense."
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 May 2012, 11:36, closed)

I don't need any defence, old chap.
I offered a joke reason for your broken crockery. You're the one getting upset, online.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 May 2012, 11:43, closed)

I'm sorry.
Did you think I was upset?
nvm.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 May 2012, 11:57, closed)

well, as long as you're not upset
everyone is happy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 May 2012, 12:00, closed)

Good.
Glad we cleared that up then.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 May 2012, 12:42, closed)