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This is a question Driven to Madness

Captain Placid asks: What annoying things do significant others, workmates and other people in general do that drive you up the wall? Do you want to kill your other half over their obsessive fridge magnet collection? Driven to distraction over your manager's continued use of Comic Sans (The Font of Champions)? Tell us.

(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 12:11)
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An obsession worthy of croissant eating, orange juice drinking, sat on a balcony leaning in his chair smug cunt,
but I hate it, and judge people on how they wear a suit. I left university thinking I would never wear a suit but within a year I was wearing one for my first proper job. 15 years later I'm still in one (not the same). What drives me mental is fellow suit wearers not understanding the buttons. 3 button suit, you do up the middle one only. two buttons, top button. Single button, one or none. Also never ever open the side pockets.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 22:56, 19 replies)
um, three button suit you do them all up.
You pleb.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 22:59, closed)
I hope you're joking.

(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:02, closed)
*Gulp*

(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 7:35, closed)
Absolutely.
And if you don't believe me, cop this:


(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 12:18, closed)
Those rules are fine if you only wear ill fitting suits.
If your suits are cut well, the buttons need to be done up to hold the structure and accentuate the lines of the wearer. In an ill fitting suit, of course, leaving them undone gives the suit more flexibility to move about and mould to the wearer thus hiding the fact that it doesn't fit so well.

The only buttons that should be left undone are the bottom buttons on the cuffs. And even that's discretionary.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:06, closed)
Genuinely interested in your comment
I know on here most comments can come across as defensive or trolling. Must have had close in 50 suits in my time, 4 made to measure (2 on Saville Row (married twice!)). But never heard anything other than the rles above.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:25, closed)
What like Jimmy Saville suits?
Or perhaps you meant Savile Row.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:53, closed)
No, as stated I meant Saville Row
My suits are made from nylon and they only cost a hand job in the back of a Rolls Royce.
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 0:14, closed)
Ha ha!

(, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 19:50, closed)
It's all about gravity and that
well if you're genuinely interested...

If your suits hangs well you may (/may/ mind) be able to get away with just doing up the top button and the rest of the front will hang with the buttons in line with the holes. This only works on a 2 button suit. It may hang fine, but it looks rubbish in a 3 buttoned suit, and one button... well... it's a bit all or nothing there.

If you leave the top button undone the weight of the coat naturally pulls down and back which causes gaping at the top button, and an unsightly gap at the back of the collar (as the whole coat has shifted back). It also droops down over the shoulders (damn you gravity!) and a) makes your coat look too big because your shoulders don't go all the way out to the top of the sleeves and b) makes the sleeves hang a bit longer than they should, thus covering too much of your shirt cuff.

You might (and again, this is fairly tenuous) be able to get away with it if you're Mr Strong from the Mr Men and have perfectly square shoulders. If your shoulders are perfectly level, then it might not droop down. I haven't' tested this, though, as I don't know Mr Strong.

Oh, and make sure you're the right shape for the number of buttons too. (the photo of Alexei Sale reminded me - Regardless of which buttons he's done up, I bet when he's not doing comedy he wears a 2 buttoned suit, which suits his shape better).
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 20:07, closed)
'Kin hell, tell me about it.
Polo shirt - just do up the bottom 1 or 2 buttons otherwise you look like a drawn-back foreskin.
Work shorts - do the fucking belt up properly so you don't share your crack with the world when you bend down.
Wear your gators over your socks and workboots to keep the shit from falling down into your boots you muppet.

Man, kids these days - no fucking class!!!
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:18, closed)

I don't understand this all buttons up on a polo shirt fashion. And belts are there to hold trousers UP. Fucking idiot kids
(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:36, closed)
Could you offer any advice on how to tuck an XL-sized shirt into medium-sized trousers without looking like a scruffy get?

(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:45, closed)
I'm on my final warning at work cos of this
I've tried to explain to the girls in accounts that the reason I've got my hands down my trousers is my trousers are too small for my shirt
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 0:17, closed)
To be clear
If I have a single button suit, I should only do up one button, or none? I'd hate to get that wrong.
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 14:25, closed)
You shouldn't have a single-button suit.
Simple
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 14:42, closed)
Unless...
Unless you're particularly skinny with a very small chest. If you have a very straight up/down figure, then a single buttoned suit, with it's very deep V (there is a name for it, but I can't remember) and cinched in waist can give you a bit more shape and make your chest and waist look a bit more in proportion. Next time you watch Dragon's Den, take a shufty at Evan Davis' suit. Perfect example of a man who (excuse me) suits a single buttoned suit.
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 20:19, closed)
YES.
God, thank you.

Can I also extend the ire a little to people who talk about the jacket in relation to a suit?

It's a coat. Hence waistcoat, coat, overcoat. It's only a jacket if it isn't part of a suit, you heathen.

AND ANOTHER THING. Irrespective of which button you use, you don't have it fastened indoors, or unfastened outdoors. Foyers are a bit of a grey area, to be honest.
(, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 14:44, closed)
Unfortunately
not everyone gets told these things, or even has the sense to try to find out for themselves.

This is honestly the kind of stuff that should be taught at school.

I went for an interview for a job promotion in the bar I work in and had to ask the lady in TM Lewin what the button etiquette was.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 2:33, closed)

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