A St. John's ambulanceman gave me a cup of tea from his flask once.
He then regaled me with tales of varied medical emergencies he'd attended including putting a band-aid on the little girl's finger after she was nipped by a hungry pony at the village fête and that time when a diabetic lady needed a biscuit.

Harrowing stuff.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 16 May 2013, 15:39, 13 replies)

feeding the pony eh?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 16 May 2013, 16:16, closed)

Feeding the diabetic lady too eh? Phwoar!!!

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 16 May 2013, 16:18, closed)

Fackin St John's
You have to have them at most sporting events to get insurance.

They are always massively fat or old or both.

They spend the day eating burgers and then when an injury does occur, waddle over to inspect and give their expert opiniom

"Need to call an ambulance"

Tossers, one and all
(LetsGetDownToIt, Thu 16 May 2013, 16:51, closed)

^this.
They invariably did more harm than good at every karate tournament I ever attended.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 May 2013, 17:43, closed)

tournaments, possibly
Did a reasonably good fix-up on Sexface though.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 16 May 2013, 18:00, closed)

You're not St John's, you're not overweight and you didn't have a ridiculous jumper on.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 May 2013, 22:53, closed)

I am in sja
but you're right about the rest. We're trying to get rid of the idiots.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Fri 17 May 2013, 8:00, closed)

You can't REALLY be a member.
You haven't got all excited about that stray 's'.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 May 2013, 9:06, closed)

New generation
I'm quite laid back about that bollocks, I just fix people who've managed to get themselves broken.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Fri 17 May 2013, 15:21, closed)

For some reason we had a St John's Ambulance crew in attendance at our Med School graduation.
It was reassuring to know that they were there in case there was any medical emergency in a room filled with over a hundred newly qualified doctors.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 16 May 2013, 22:26, closed)

Smashing stuff.
That said, having seen and drank with "Docs on the lash", even St.Johns would have looked like a safer bet at times.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 16 May 2013, 23:06, closed)

Ah, but they know DIFFERENT medicine.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 May 2013, 23:59, closed)

What do you call the medical student who gets the lowest pass mark in his year?
Doctor.
(ubergeekian, Fri 17 May 2013, 16:57, closed)