Exactly 12 years ago
Thinking about it, it was probably 11 years ago. I remember because it was near the mother-in-laws birthday and she's 61 now, and she was 54 at the time. We got her a little baby dingo for her birthday, cute little fella til it fell out the back of the forby ute and got scoffed by an angry roo. There's nothing cute about half a baby dingo.

We were 50k's south of Woop Woop and the Sheila was getting aggro coz she'd got us lost. Don't rattle your dags I told her as we roamed around like a lost sheep. The whippersnippers in the back were getting as bent as a scrub tick, so we made them sit on the roo bars til they were all wool and a yard wide. Then the wife hit a rock and jiggered the forby ute. We'll I was as happy as a bastard on Father's Day. I tried pushing the forby ute but was soon clagged out and wheezing like your mum on kookaburra. Time to call for help.

I found the phone and picked it up, then dialled the numbers. First I dialled the first number, then I followed the first number with the second number. Then, after dialling the first number and following the first number with the second number, I dialled the third number. I remember thinking at the time that I wished all those people at work who said I couldn't train a choko vine over a country dunny could see me here remembering all these numbers and in the right order, but that made me lose track of where I was. So I pressed the end call button and dialled the first number, then followed that with the second number, then third and so on, and so on and so on until I dialled all the numbers one after the other. "Hurro!" said the man who had answered the phone at the other end of the line. "Hello" I said back to the man who'd answered the phone, "Is this the police?" I asked. "No this Chang's Laundry wha' you wan" said the policeman. Then the wife wrestled the phone from me. I tried to stop her but she could kick the arse off an emu when she's angry. Turns out I'd rung the wrong number and it wasn't the police at all.
(ringofyre, Sat 18 May 2013, 9:50, 37 replies)

Is there a specific term for satire that is indistinguishable from its subject?

( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Sat 18 May 2013, 10:04, closed)

Poe's Law

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 12:12, closed)

Cole's law

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 18 May 2013, 16:16, closed)

Bernardbreh's law

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 May 2013, 16:29, closed)

Brilliant story.
The short break has done you good.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 18 May 2013, 10:16, closed)

this is my favourite ever episode of The Young Doctors.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 18 May 2013, 10:21, closed)

Strewth!
I believe mine was better.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 18 May 2013, 10:36, closed)

Excellent work.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 May 2013, 11:55, closed)

You're a massive improvement on Misery McUglywife.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 12:12, closed)

I'd just like to take a moment to thank Dr. Shambolic for providing me with a new username.
last week I changed my username as I was really no longer happy being just plain ole "ringofyre". It was time for a change. I really wasn't that person any more. This was a username I'd started using when I still had a computer capable of booting into windows let alone playing games. It just wasn't really relevant any longer. Whilst I had changed it Brigadier appropriated "ringofyre" and chose to make it his/her own. Good on you.
In the mean time I tried my user number (72597). But hey who wants to be a number, right? So I was kinda just cruising along when shambo posted ^this gem.
It fits perfectly. I'm a miserable cunt, and despite the fact that my wife is the best looking woman I know, clearly he hasn't noticed a woman in a loooong time so it fits just perfectly.
I apologise in advance to both monster munch and moon monkey as the anagram "MM" might get a bit confusing. But hey I'm sure we'll all get over it.
Anyhoo, cheers shambolina - you did me a solid & I appreciate it.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 7:31, closed)

whatever shit you just wrote

Abloobloobloo. My username was stolen and the replacement is already funnier and more popular than me. Nobody likes me. Abloobloobloo. I'm going to pretend it's what I wanted all along. Like a six year old girl who got the wrong barbie for christmas. Abloobloobloo.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 19 May 2013, 9:49, closed)

Cause it's a competition right?
Just like at high school.

Wow. And here I was thinking I was dealing with a 40 yo. man with a wife and children.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 10:40, closed)

You're not dealing with owt, petal.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 19 May 2013, 11:23, closed)

No worries,
hun.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 11:55, closed)

I'm not your ugly wife, pet.
She's the one advertising herself on the shag-a-granny sites. It's an easy mistake to make with this beard and all those tears in your eyes.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 19 May 2013, 12:28, closed)

As the great AB might say
Whut?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 12:51, closed)

"you did me a solid & I appreciate it"
Horrible.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 20 May 2013, 7:28, closed)

It's always gratifying
to be name-checked.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 May 2013, 9:31, closed)

acronym

( 4Q just lurking, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:48, closed)

Abbreviation

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Tue 21 May 2013, 13:53, closed)

Needs more 44000L saltwater pool.
That is a lot of saltwater, I suppose it could have started as freshwater but then gradually accumulated salt from the generous amounts of sweat produced by its flabby occupants.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 18 May 2013, 12:37, closed)

I fucking love this.
ya flaming galah.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 18 May 2013, 13:15, closed)

Ahaha, fucking brilliant.
This made me LITERALLY laugh out loud.
( 4Q just lurking, Sat 18 May 2013, 13:59, closed)

I think we've discovered the solution to qotw.
We just need to gradually replace all the boring crybaby shitcunts with amusing fake accounts.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 14:32, closed)

Nice to have you back.
How was the step?
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 18 May 2013, 14:56, closed)

Like a weekend in Canberra.

(ringofyre, Sat 18 May 2013, 15:10, closed)

BONZER.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 May 2013, 15:40, closed)

I like how you're posting in spite of being banned.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 18 May 2013, 15:47, closed)

It's amazing what folk can do with pictures these days.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 18 May 2013, 16:00, closed)

innit tho

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 17:31, closed)

Lewis Hamilton?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sat 18 May 2013, 17:36, closed)

I think it's supposed to be Claire Balding.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 17:37, closed)

It probably is her, they all look the same to me

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sat 18 May 2013, 17:42, closed)

yer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 18 May 2013, 17:53, closed)

Here, knock yourself out

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 0:06, closed)

Logging in to like this!

( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Sat 18 May 2013, 15:59, closed)

This is so good It made me post
on a Sunday when I should me on moi laaaand worrying moi peas
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Sun 19 May 2013, 10:28, closed)

A huge improvement.

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:33, closed)