Lizard Man
There is a house near me that has a huge lizard as a door knocker, understandably this pissed me off so a friend and I used to knock down ginger the bastard every time we walked past. One time he must have been right at the door because he came out and caught me! After berating me for a while and me basically telling him to fuck off I went away and plotted my revenge....

About 6 months later I returned at about 3am and shat on his doorstep. I then proceeded to wipe the shit all overthe lizard/letterbox/keyhole/door handle (It was a biggun!)

I would have loved to see his face the lizard knockered cunt.
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:02, 12 replies)

..hmmm...
...Cant really say that i'm with you on this one.. :-l
(Phlash, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:20, closed)

Because I have
a phobia of lizards understandably!

God some people
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:20, closed)

bloody hell
if every like-minded fuckwit took your logic, snakes, spiders and airplanes would all be covered in shit by now.
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:02, closed)

Haha!
*Imagines Tarbin's world of pissed off shit-covered spiders*.

Meanwhile, understandably, I'm clicking 'ignore'.
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:18, closed)

Twat

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:55, closed)

.
That's the trouble with kids nowadays*, they haven't got a fucking clue what 'the rules' are. You played knock down ginger, and you got caught. No revenge is merited for your dismal failure to pull off the simplest prank in the world.

I had kids do it to me a couple of years back. Fair enough. Then they did it some more. Still fair enough. Then they did it some more, still fair enough, but I was bored. I stood in my porch looking through the spyhole for 10 mins, in a halloween mask, then as they finally approached again, opened the door and jumped at them screaming. They screamed too and ran off.

That was the end of the game, by the standards of anyone who understands the rules, unless they can come up with a way of esculating their cunning. (Knocking the door from the other side of the street with string, for example, so that jumping out is not an option. I even had string lying around in the front garden. It ain't rocket science.)

But oh no, they just kept coming back until I physically caught one of them and explained said rules via the medium of physical violence.

* fuck me, did I really just say that in seriousness? I'm not 102, just in case you're wondering.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:20, closed)

My word.
It takes a special brand of buttmuncher to think that's clever. Hell, its not even a prank so much as it is being an complete cunt. Hang your head in shame boy.
(Teran Thinks Pogonophobia is funny, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:34, closed)

Wow
you really are a cunt
( Weetobix, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:27, closed)

Gosh!
Look there! off in the distance- the greater spotted tosser
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 17:10, closed)

Did you post this to make us think you are funny?
You are a twunt, that is an awful thing to do...... you idiot
( JimmyD I let my best ideas go to waste, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 23:58, closed)

errrm is ure the title of the qotw is evil pranks
this fits the bill, so calm down ffs this is B3TA.
(papa bouba slap your face, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 13:10, closed)